The Risks of Decluttering (And Why They’re Worth Taking in Midlife)

For many of us in midlife, decluttering feels risky. All of the things we’ve accumulated over the years represent connections to previous seasons of life, people we love and also a colossal decluttering effort. It’s not hard to understand why people put it off, even as they look around at their home and think ‘I have way too much stuff.’ The risks of decluttering just seem too big to make it worthwhile.

But here’s the thing about risks – if they are calculated they don’t have to be so high-stakes. And in fact the rewards of decluttering are always greater than the risks, even if it doesn’t feel that way at the beginning of your journey.Let’s take a closer look at three of the biggest risks you associate with decluttering. Instead of letting the feeling of risk keep you from taking action we’re going to check the facts behind those feelings. We’ll also look at how the rewards of decluttering offset those risks and give you something to goal towards. Even just a bit of risk vs. reward analysis can help you out of inertia and into action – so let’s dig in!

Risk #1: Discomfort

One of the biggest risks of decluttering has everything to do with feelings. Could be your feelings, could be someone else’s feelings. Could be painful memories, could be happy times past. The anticipation of surfacing uncomfortable feelings is what stops so many people from going through their stuff. They know there is a lot they don’t need to keep. But they fear discomfort so they stay away.

So let’s check the facts. First of all, your feelings are not facts. They are thoughts and you don’t have to let them rule your decisions. You can invite them in, let them wash over you and then graciously escort them out. Feeling guilty about letting go of your grandmother’s quilt? Let the guilt have its moment and move on. Does it feel illegal to toss that piece of macaroni art because your kid made it? Believe me, no one is going to come arrest you (and P.S. you were a wonderful parent.) Do the letters your ex-husband wrote you in college bring up all the negative feelings associated with your divorce? Okay – feel that negativity for a minute and then use it to banish the letters. Why would you keep something that makes you feel bad?

Here’s another fact. What you’ll find as you keep going is that a lot of the feelings you thought would be big and scary fail to materialize. That’s because while the fear of discomfort was looming your brain continued to layer on a bunch of assumptions. Turns out your high school yearbooks don’t hold the same power over you that once did. Or you have no compunction to read all the papers you wrote in college. Saving the 30+ years of birthday cards inscribed ‘Love, Grandma’ doesn’t actually seem worth the space they take up. Your brain is wired to protect you, but sometimes it goes a little too far and you have to reel it in!

Risk #2: Regret

Of all the risks of decluttering, this one is the most insidious. And the one blown most out of proportion. It’s the fear of regretting your decision to let go. ‘What if I need it someday?’ ‘What if I forget about this memory?’ And my personal bugaboo ‘What if I can fit into it again?’

Here’s the deal, folks. The facts on this one point to the chances you will regret the decision to declutter as being extremely small. It’s kind of like avoiding the ocean because you are afraid of being attacked by a shark. It doesn’t feel like a small chance it could happen but the facts just don’t play out. And in the meantime you’ve deprived yourself of a lovely experience.

If you keep a bunch of stuff because you are afraid of the small chance you will miss it, you’re missing out on the freedom you feel when it’s gone. I’ve watched this theory play out time after time in my Professional Organizing business. You don’t miss it when it’s gone!

Risk #3: A Huge Mess

Yes, the risks of decluttering include making a big mess that leaves you in a worse place than you were in when you started. And the risk may feel especially high to anyone who has experienced this scenario in the past: You bust out of the gate with a ton of motivation and pull everything out of (the closet, the basement, the doom room) – only to run out of gas after an hour. You go on to live with the huge mess you created and now your house feels even more cluttered than it did to begin with.

The reason this happens to so many people is because they shoot out of the starting gate without a plan. A plan reduces this risk tenfold. And for those of you rolling your eyes at me right now, the plan doesn’t have to be that detailed. It could merely include breaking up the space you are decluttering into smaller pieces. Or it could be a time box of 30 minutes only. It could apportion 10 of those minutes for cleanup. A plan doesn’t have to be a complicated thing, it can be as simple as little forethought before you begin. (Incidentally, if you are light on planning skills you may want to check out the  Beginner’s Decluttering Blueprint available for purchase in my shop, it mostly takes care of the planning part for you.)

So the risk of a big mess is easily thwarted with a bit of effort. And now you can get excited about the rewards of decluttering.

The Rewards

See how smart and calculated the risks you’re taking actually are? And they come with big rewards. The rewards of decluttering are many and varied. Some are of the physical variety, more visual and physical space in your home, the ability to find things you need, etc. The even bigger ones are in the feelings department, though. All that discomfort you were trying to avoid? Well, once you make progress decluttering the uncomfortable feelings you had been dreading become totally overpowered by positive feelings of empowerment, confidence, freedom and clarity.

I don’t have a psychology degree but in my opinion the confidence and empowerment come from the improved ability to make decisions. Because that’s what you’ve mostly been doing for years, putting off decisions. Once you start pushing through the discomfort, fear and overwhelm to make a decision, the next one becomes a little easier. And from there it’s like a snowball rolling downhill. Freedom and clarity are the outcomes, and they feel so good I guarantee clutter won’t ever be an issue for you again!