I’ve spent the past week listening to Taylor Swift’s Life of A Showgirl album on repeat. The songs are like earworms – even in my sleep they are playing on a loop! All this Taylor excitement got me thinking about how successful her Eras Tour was and how effortlessly she told the story of her creative journey. Which then got me thinking about clutter eras!

For me, most trains of thought lead to clutter (it’s a blessing and a curse!) Mentally separating my clutter into eras helps me understand its origins and put it into the appropriate context. Which in turn enables me to identify and edit the things from each era that no longer matter.

It’s a super useful metaphor (Thank You Taylor!) if you are decluttering several decades’ worth of stuff. Let’s take a quick tour of your clutter eras so you can put them in perspective when it’s time to make editing decisions.

The Childhood Era

I define the childhood clutter era as the years from birth through high school. You may have things that your parents saved for you; a baby book, blankets, rattles, etc. Then there are possibly toys you played with among other treasures: a doll cradle, favorite stuffie, china trinkets. Once you get to high school there’s your prom dress, letters from friends (remember those?) and yearbooks. And don’t forget the sentimental mementos we used to keep like concert tickets, pins and even notes you passed in class!

We passed our childhood years in a pre-digital era, so there’s probably a lot of paper in your collection of memories. As you take a tour through this era, think about what is the most meaningful to keep going forward. Do you need to keep letters from people who are no longer in your life? Are your high school yearbooks worth the space they take up in your home? Maybe the picture of you in the prom dress is better to keep than the actual dress itself. Curate the important things you enjoy visiting from your childhood years and let the rest go.

The Early Adulthood Era

This clutter era – compared to the others – has way less volume. That’s because we were mobile in our twenties. Most of us moved around a fair amount and since we were early in our careers there wasn’t a lot of extra disposable income to spend on things. I have yet to meet someone who got sentimentally attached to their IKEA furniture. In fact, most of us upgraded from the stuff we bought in our 20’s as soon as we could!

Mostly what I see saved from this era with clients are their media collections; CDs, VHS tapes and DVDs. Even though most of us are streaming our music these days, we invested a lot of money on those collections and it feels somehow wrong to part with them. But you can part with them. They served you well for the time that you used them – and now it’s okay to say goodbye.

Raising Kids Era

The child-rearing years represent the most gnarly clutter era. OMG we buy so much stuff during this era! Let’s review: Clothing, sports equipment, toys, craft supplies, board games, video games, backpacks, dolls, souvenirs, and the list goes on!

A lot of this stuff is technically owned by your kids (even though it has lived in your house for decades!)  Some of it you purposefully saved for them. Some of it they purposefully saved for themselves. A lot of it you saved reflexively or it just never found its way out the door. It’s tucked away in your garage, your attic, your storage closet under the stairs. It’s lurking in closets, stuffed into bins or even hiding in plain sight. It has seeped into every crevice and drawer in your home – you just haven’t realized the scale of the era of clutter. Fifteen years after the last kid in my house played with a Nerf Gun I am still finding those foam bullets! This era also tends to be the most emotionally charged for lots of reasons. But remember, you are a curator. You can identify what’s important to keep around and what has lost its cache. Sure, get your kids to weigh in on what is important to them. But at the same time give them storage boundaries that will help them be curators as well. There is a lot from this era that can go!

Aging Parents Era

We in the sandwich generation often witness the collision of clutter eras – namely our parents aging and dying while our homes are still full of clutter from raising kids. Now is the time when countless pieces of furniture, collectables, framed photos, and other treasures from ago start making their way into our homes.

You can and should be selective about what you take in during this time. Don’t accept things that are just going to collect dust in your basement. You don’t have to say yes to everything! The aging parents era is a good time to clear out the deadwood from some of the other eras to make room for those of your parents’ things that you treasure. If everything is important then nothing is; to treasure something you need to have space to appreciate it. And that means being selective.

All of this to say you are entering a new era – your midlife era – your clutter-free era! Surround yourself with a curated collection of items from each of your eras, and let the rest go. After all – Taylor couldn’t put all of her songs on her Eras Tour set list – the concert would have been 9 hours long at least! Instead, she curated a set of songs that mattered most. She’s pretty smart, that one!

The post Your Clutter Eras Tour: A Midlife Decluttering Journey appeared first on Method Seattle.

Do you get frustrated when your kids don’t seem excited about inheriting all the stuff you’ve diligently saved for them over the years? After all, you took on a lot from your parents, who in turn had things from their parents. What is going on with these kids today? Ungrateful! Unfeeling! Entitled! There is clearly some kind of generational divide happening, right?

The truth is, young people today are not being inconsiderate and they aren’t apathetic. There has been a titanic shift happening in the last 100 years that has upended the relationship that different generations have to their stuff. Let’s break it down and make some sense of it so we can quit accusing our children of being unfeeling ingrates.

The Greatest and Silent Generations: Scarcity Mindset

In order to dig into this generational divide, this let’s rewind the clock all the way back to the Great Depression. My grandparents were members of the Greatest Generation (those born ~1901-1927) and my parents were members of the Silent Generation (those born ~1928-1945). These generations either lived through the Great Depression or were raised by parents who lived through it. Times were tough, and almost everyone was affected. Goods were scarce, and everything a family owned was precious. Then as we came out of the Depression, WWII started and dominated the global economy. Most industries producing goods and food focused on supporting the war effort.

If you were a kid growing up in this era you understood the value of each thing you owned because there wasn’t very much. You likely weren’t bombarded every birthday and Christmas with toys, instead you treasured the few things you received. Clothing was passed down to siblings, and mended multiple times before graduating to the rag bin. When something broke, you fixed it because buying a new one was expensive.

It took a long time to manufacture things, and even longer to transport them to various points across the country. Once you got something like a car, you drove that puppy until it died. Even cameras were somewhat of a luxury; mostly used for special occasions and formal portraits because film was expensive too.

This is the water our parents and grandparents were swimming in. Goods were few, expensive and harder to get. So they were highly valued. Not only did you welcome things you inherited from family members, they were often the only things you had to remember them by.

The Millennials and Gen Z: Raised in Plenty

Now let’s fast forward 50-60 years across the generational divide. The kids born in the 80’s and 90’s (Millennials) and the 2000s (Gen Z) are swimming in very different water. Global manufacturing has exploded, making goods like clothing, toys and electronics much cheaper and easier to get. The internet has come to life and made convenience not a feature but a baseline expectation. Not only can you easily order something online but you can get it the same day if you so choose.

Every Christmas and every birthday brings a bonanza of gifts. Nobody knows how to patch jeans or darn socks and there is no need, because you can just buy a new pair when a hole appears! Technology is changing at the speed of light and everyone is racing for the newest model of smartphone/tablet/car/television so they can keep up with the latest and greatest.

And even as the advent of digital cameras eliminated the need to buy and develop film, the smartphone eclipsed even that and these generations have almost their whole lives documented in photos and video.

With so much available and over-production rampant, is it a wonder that the grown children of the Millennial and Zoomer generations do not have the same relationship to things? Why fix something if acquiring a new one is so easy and cheap? Why get attached if a newer, shinier version is just around the corner? If anything, these kids grew up with too much stuff and don’t want the burden of taking care of it all. It’s a totally different perspective.

The Boomers & GenEx: Caught In The Middle

Which brings me to the middle section of the generational divide, the Baby Boomers and Gen X (shout out to my people!) We are in the murky, mucky middle of this whole situation. We ere raised by our Greatest and Silent Generation parents and grandparents. They taught us to value our things, fix what is broken, pass stuff down and never waste. But while we were learning those maxims, the world was changing. We grew up with way more than our parents had. It was a world of plenty, but we were taught to value everything as if goods were scarce.

We eventually took on the possessions of our elders as if it was our duty. At the same time we accumulated mountains of things as we raised our own children. We spent the last 2-3 decades fielding influx from the generations before and behind us.And now we have so much stuff. The stuff they saved and the stuff we saved. Our kids are observing this accumulation and saying ‘no, thank you – we’re good!’ They have their photos and their videos to remember. They place a high value on experiences. They will spend $800 to see Taylor Swift in concert and will probably declutter the-shirt they bought there in a few years.

It’s Gonna Be Okay

So the next time you are decluttering with your grown kid or trying to pass something down to them that they politely decline, remember this. It’s not a reflection of how much they love you. And it’s not a sign of disrespect. It’s merely a result of the massive shift in our culture over time. So instead of getting upset about it, try re-framing it. Sure you spent time and energy saving all this stuff – but now you can let it go! How freeing! Setting yourself free from all the clutter you’ve kept out of reflex can be truly transformative. Go ahead, you’ll love how it feels to set down the burden!

The post Caught in the Generational Divide: A Midlife Decluttering Dilemma appeared first on Method Seattle.

Last month I decluttered my 20-year-old daughter’s room with her and learned a lot of valuable lessons. The idea of decluttering is distasteful (or alien?) to many young folks but if you can make it happen there is a lot of wisdom you can gain in the process, for them and for you. Helping your adult child declutter can be a positive experience, if you do it right!

Every kid is different (as my own 3 demonstrate on a daily basis.) I’m not suggesting everything I share here will apply verbatim to your kid. But, I did use wisdom gleaned from 4 years of working with clients (most with kids of various ages) and brought it all to bear on my own daughter. And it worked!

Decluttering with your grown kid is different than curating the stuff from their early childhood, because the stuff in their room is what they’ve collected on their own. So your feelings and opinions need to take a back seat to theirs. Take what you want from this story and leave the rest. Shedding the weight of the things not serving you and editing down to the things that matter is a life skill, so if your kid takes anything from this experience I’d count it as a huge win.

First, The History

The first thing to know about helping an adult child declutter is that it had been years in the making. When my daughter was a senior in high school and my organizing business was in its fledgling state, I organized her room for her while she was at school one day, thinking she’d be thrilled. I was wrong. She was so angry with me, felt I had invaded her privacy and definitely did not consider it a favor! So after that I stayed out of her room.

Fast forward a few years. This kid likes to thrift, travels back and forth from Seattle to San Francisco for college and is perfectly happy with a messy room. When she is home I often ask our cleaning folks to skip her room, since it is rarely in shape for them to clean.

When she left for a semester abroad in London in January, I got her permission to move everything that was left on her floor into her closet. I wanted our cleaners to be able to actually get in there to clean. I also wanted any housesitters from Trusted Housesitters to have access to her bedroom if they wanted to stay there.

So when she returned home, the room was clean but the closets were stuffed to the gills with everything she had accumulated since she moved into this bedroom in 2019. Her plan was to spend the summer in San Francisco working so I gently told her that I needed her to declutter and clean up her room before she left. I also shared the reasons why. Then I offered my help if she wanted it. And to my surprise, she accepted.

Next, Stay in Wise Mind

Before I got started helping my adult child declutter I had to put on my game face. I went in treating her as I would any of my paying organizing clients. This meant leaving my judgement at the door. No commenting on how many clothes she has that she doesn’t wear. No scolding in the event we came across something I disapproved of. Couldn’t show anger if I found something of mine that had mysteriously disappeared sometime back. And definitely no trying to convince her to keep something she didn’t want but I felt attachment to.

Getting into wise-mind took a bit of effort, like giving myself a pep talk before heading into the ring. I say to my clients all the time ‘I make suggestions, you make decisions.’ But the difference is I do not have attachment, deep background knowledge or any hangups about my clients. So it was important to remind myself that the decisions about what to get rid of were hers, not mine.

I was able to operate in a supporting role in this exercise, but only because I’d done the mental prep work beforehand and was aware if I started to slip out of wise-wind. The work reinforced something I coach clients on all the time: there is a big generational difference in how midlifers and their kids relate to their stuff. ‘Stuff’ is so much more prevalent now than it was when we were children. With every generation, goods are more plentiful, cheaper and more convenient to acquire. So we had more stuff than our parents did. And our kids have more than we did. And we are now many generations removed from those lived through or were raised by someone who grew up in the Great Depression.

So that means our kids are less impressed by things. Nor do they feel an obligation to use and/or keep everything forever. My daughter got rid of a lot, including her High School Yearbooks – which surprised me. (COVID had a role to play there, I suspect!) She was happy to let go of many of the mementos I would have kept at her age. That said, she was able to clearly articulate why she kept the things she kept – and I ended up feeling very proud of her editing skills!

Last, Tactical Tips That Worked

There were some key tactics that made helping my adult child declutter a success. (When I say success I’m not only referring to the decluttering but also my relationship with my girl!) If you are attempting to declutter with your grown kid, plan for the following:

Make sure to take a break. My daughter’s room took 5 hours start-to-finish. We took a 30 minute break about 3 hours in. The decluttering and decision-making take the most out of anyone, so when you sense that mental fatigue is setting in, call a time-out and get some food or caffeine to get you through the last mile. Thirty minutes was perfect for us and gave us energy to finish the job. 

Prepare for trash. If you are someone who is uncomfortable with trash due to eco-anxiety, get ready. We cleared 5 bags of trash from my daughter’s room. Teens collect so much trash, if I didn’t do this for a living I wouldn’t have been mentally prepared for the volume! Anyway – have your large garbage bags ready to go.

Do a donation run right away. I highly recommend removing the donations right away when you’re done decluttering. Do some research ahead of time so you can be sure your spot is open and accepting donations. Take you kid with you on the run and then stop for your reward on the way home!

Reward at the end. My daughter opted for McDonald’s fries and we chatted about the experience while reaching into the fry bag all the way home. It was fun and put a positive end-cap on the day. 

My girl definitely does not get the same pleasure that I do from gazing into her beautifully decluttered and organized closet. However, it’s now easy to find things in her room, pack for school and put clean laundry away. And I have peace of mind!  Amen to that.

The post How I Helped My Adult Child Declutter—Without Losing My Mind appeared first on Method Seattle.

May is here! I love May because it means summer is close, kids return home from college and we get to spend Memorial Day weekend with our squad. May is where the calendar year begins its midlife evolution and everything from the weather to people’s behavior starts to look and feel different. This dynamic reminds me of my own life. If I take a moment to step back and reflect, I can see and feel the wheels of my midlife turning and evolving. When you take time to notice the changes, a lot comes into focus!

The Month of Maureen

My midlife evolution includes approaching May differently than I have in the past. May is the month I think about my mom the most. She died almost 7 years ago but May brings her memory into sharp focus because it’s the month she was born, the month of Mother’s Day and the month she died.

I used to mentally stamp ‘HARD THING’ on May for those reasons. But now I’ve evolved to think of it more as a month of celebrating what she meant to me. I make the Hipy Papy Bthudth Thuthday Cake from my Winnie The Pooh Cookbook. I’ve had the book since I was eight and baked the cake for her birthday too many years to count. I review and post some of my favorite pictures of her on Mother’s Day. Choosing the photo to post has become somewhat of a ritual and it’s fun to get into my digital library and look for the perfect shot. And then there’s sharing memories of her with my dad, my husband and my kids – which happens all the time, frankly, but more so in May.

I have some things of my mom’s, but only the ones I love and use. The rest my dad and I donated. I can’t explain it fully but in my experience keeping everything a loved one left behind weighs your memories down and kind of smothers them. I feel lighter and freer without all the stuff, and I’m pretty clear on the fact that I loved her a lot and did not dishonor her by donating what was hers.

Another Midlife Milestone

This month our middle child graduates from college! Another milestone in the midlife evolution! The whole family, including grandparents will head down to Tucson to cheer on our Wildcat as she crosses the stage.

Every kid is different and I love all of mine, but this is the kid that inspired the mantra I’ve adopted as my own: ‘You Can Do Hard Things’. Ever since we identified her dyslexia in 3rd grade, school has been a Hard Thing. It took 15 years and a lot of resilience to achieve this milestone. But my favorite thing is not that she is receiving her degree. It’s that she learned that she can do things, even when they seem overwhelming or difficult. She evolved to know you can get up off the mat when you get knocked down. She learned to advocate for herself and know her resources.

These are all truths I use in my coaching practice. Raising this particular kid taught me how true they really are. Congratulations Charlotte Mary, keep evolving Girl!

Damn Menopause

The midlife evolution isn’t always great – in fact, sometimes it sucks! I have a lot of special occasions happening in the coming months, from Charlotte’s graduation to a family wedding. Because of my 30 years in Fashion Retail and my innate inclination to plan ahead, this meant I began the process of planning outfits way back in February. Normally planning outfits is super fun for me and I own many dresses appropriate for the occasions. But I hadn’t tried them on in quite some time. 

So last week I bit the bullet and had a try-on party. Except the party vibes sucked. Because over half the dresses didn’t fit me anymore. Boobs to big, waist too big – it was so depressing. Subconsciously I knew this was going to be the case, but I couldn’t face the new reality for over a year so the dresses stayed in my closet. The try-on party forced me to take my own advice and practice some radical honesty. The season of my pre-menopause body in these beautiful dresses was over. And it was time to remove the reminders of what was and embrace (strong word, don’t think I’m actually there yet!) the body I have today.

So I decluttered the dresses that no longer fit. And I ordered a couple of new ones in a bigger size. And it turns out I can still look decent in a dress that fits me. My reason for sharing this story is to remind you of two things:

1. If you have things that don’t fit you lingering in your closet, bite the bullet and let them go. It’s humiliating in the moment but you will feel so much better when it’s over.
2. Wearing clothes that fit your body feels good. So much better than squeezing into things that are too tight. Your life isn’t over just because you had to go a size up – try on something that fits you well and see how good you feel!

Let Yourself Evolve

So many things evolve in midlife. The evolution is inevitable. The key is to to step back and see the many lessons life has taught you that are newly visible in this season.

The post May Mixed Bag: Midlife Evolution appeared first on Method Seattle.

One of the reasons people keep clutter around is because of feelings. Uncomfortable feelings. One of the common reasons people avoid decluttering later in life is also…uncomfortable feelings. Those pesky feelings – they really cause us a lot of grief.

If you are interested in overcoming your own discomfort when it comes to decluttering, press on Dear Reader! In this blog I will share a secret trick to taking back your power over your feelings. I learned this from one of my favorite experts on feelings, Dr Brène Brown. She wrote a book called Atlas of the Heart that I highly recommend reading if you struggle with feelings (because you are suffering from being human.) Dr. Brown teaches us about the power of language when it comes to emotions. When you can recognize and name your feelings it is a big step toward taking away their power.

We are going to explore and name a few of the common feelings often associated with decluttering. But before we do that, a gentle reminder that your feelings won’t kill you. Think of them as visitors just passing through. You welcome the visitors in to stay a bit, and then you escort them out.

Longing

When you lose somebody it usually hurts to go through their stuff. Even if years have gone by since the loss, it’s hard to believe that the feelings of longing won’t kill you. So expect to feel longing, and welcome it in. I know that sounds scary, but there is a difference between expectation and dread. When you name longing as the discomfort that is coming, you are mentally prepared to deal with it when it does.

My mother died almost 7 years ago. There are still things of hers that my dad and I are in the process of decluttering. When I go over to his house for a decluttering session I am ready for feel longing for my mom. I don’t try to push it away. Instead I let it in. Usually I shed a few tears in the process. But then it passes. My dad and I share a funny memory or speculate on what she would say about the things we are decluttering. Then it isn’t scary anymore, it’s just part of the process.

Guilt

Of all the decluttering feelings that won’t kill you, guilt is by far the biggest and scariest. We keep things out of guilt all the time. Guilt is the companion of longing when we are decluttering a loved one’s possessions. Guilt rears its head when we are decluttering something that was expensive. And, oh yes – guilt shows up every time you go to toss out some piece of paper with macaroni and glitter glued to it…because your kid made it.

Here’s the thing about guilt, speaking out loud to it helps diminish its iron grip on your conscience. Yes, I am advocating talking to yourself while decluttering. Strengthening one side of your internal dialogue makes it a fair fight. When guilt knocks on the door, go ahead and let it in…for a conversation. When guilt says ‘you are dishonoring your mother by decluttering her favorite sweater’ you can answer back. ‘My mother would not want me to be burdened by this sweater.’ If guilt shames you for trying to declutter the expensive skin toner you bought and don’t like, answer back. ‘I’m going to let myself off the hook for this mistake I made because I’m human.’ And when guilt says it’s illegal to toss anything your kid created, say loudly (in your head, if you want) – ‘I can love my child and throw away this thing he made at the same time.’

When you have a worthy opponent for guilt to spar with, it rarely wins out!

Fear

Your feelings won’t kill you, but they sure try to mess with your psyche. Fear is a multi-time offender. Fear is what we feel when we want to declutter that thing we haven’t used in years but then, ‘what if I need it someday?’ Fear will try to derail you by conjuring up every doomsday scenario in which you declutter a random item you kept ‘just in case’ and then needed it. 

So fear has you feeling uncomfortable? Let’s throw it off balance with some fact checking! Checking the facts behind your fears of the doomsday scenario usually produces some pretty sound logic in favor of decluttering. What are the chances that you will need the tent you haven’t used in 10 years? Less than 30%? Less than 20%? And let’s say the unlikely scenario does arise that you need a tent? What would you do if you no longer had yours? Perhaps borrow one? Look for one on Buy Nothing? Sleep under the stars? When you check the facts and the chances are low that you’ll need the tent and high that you’ll solve your tent problem some other way, you can show fear to the door and say ‘thanks for coming,but I’ve got this!’

You’ve Got This

Stop assuming that your feelings are there to kill you and let them join you for a bit. You’ll soon see you were giving them way too much real estate in your mind. Feeling your feelings may be hard, but you should know by now that you can do hard things!

If this all makes sense to you in theory but you’d like more of a hand-holding version with a specific framework to follow, I offer an online class you should check out called Clearing Emotional Clutter. In it I tackle just about every ‘scary’ decluttering scenario and teach you a thought framework you can use for each and every one!

The post Your Feelings Won’t Kill You – But Your Clutter Might appeared first on Method Seattle.

Raising my kids was so much fun! And so much. So much activity, so much laughter, so much stress and so much stuff. The clothes, the toys, the art, the books, the souvenirs, the uniforms, the photos, the Mother’s Day cards – we tend to reflexively save most of it. We save it because we’re too busy to figure out what to do with it. And because we’re not sure at the time what will be important later. It’s easier to punt and save All The Things for later, when we have more time and perspective. Now is the time to declutter your grown kids’ stuff.

Except that now there’s too much. When you try to declutter your grown kids’ stuff it’s too intimidating, both the volume and the emotional minefield. I have some suggestions for how to approach this project and save your own sanity while honoring your kids’ childhood memories. There are 3 actions you can take to lead you down the path gently to the best outcome.

Collaborate

When you go to declutter your grown kids’ stuff, the first thing to do is involve them. That is, to the extent that they want to be involved. This is your first clue into who is attached to all this stuff, you or them!  You could be going through bins of their art, cleaning out a room they moved out of or addressing boxes of their stuff piled up in the garage. Letting them know what you are up to will give you a sense of how much they really care about their stuff.

Some kids take it for granted that you will just keep their things until they ask for them. Some kids will surprise you by telling you they don’t want most of the things you saved. And most kids will not be interested in sitting side-by-side with you while you relive their childhood. So mentally prepare for that right out of the gate.

In my experience I’ve found that my kids are less attached to things than I was at their age. I only have one kid that’s fully out of the house. He participated via Facetime as I decluttered his old room and turned it into a second guest space.

Separate

Now that you have a sense of their mindset and potentially some partnership you can begin the culling process. Some questions to ask yourself:

• Is this something I saved for them or did they save it themselves?
• Who is more attached to this thing, me or them?
• Will this thing be meaningful to them in 30 years?

That last question is a tough one. It’s where folks get tripped up when they declutter their grown kids’ stuff. You can’t predict the future, but presumably you know your kid and have a decent recollection of their childhood and which things played a significant role.

You will be the expert on what meant a lot to them when they were small. They will be clearer on the significance of things they collected in their teen years.

Don’t take it personally if they don’t care about things you thought would be meaningful. It’s not a reflection of how happy their childhood was or how much they love you, their generation was flooded with stuff and when you have that many things, hardly any of it feels truly special. It’s a generational difference, not a personal insult directed at you!

Curate

When you realize it’s time to declutter your grown kids’ stuff, it doesn’t mean you have to get rid of everything! Think of yourself as a museum curator (a small museum) – what would you include to tell the story of your precious one’s childhood?

I recommend 2 boxes; one for baby/early childhood for which you are the primary curator, and one for later childhood/teen years where your kids will have heavy input. Limit yourself to just the 2 boxes. I recommend a nice-looking/archival-type box like this, one that’s inviting to look at and signals that something important/wonderful is inside! If what you ended up with doesn’t fit in the box, do a second edit. If you save too much your kid will never visit these memories because it will be too overwhelming, and that defeats the whole purpose!

Here are my opinions on specific categories:

Art:  save the funny things, the written stories that make you smile and anything that was really impressive for their age (if you can even remember their age!) The rest can go in the bin.

Clothes: maybe the ‘home from the hospital’ outfit?’ or one other equally significant occasion. Or something knitted by someone special. I saved Lilly Pulitzer shifts my girls wore as toddlers because they were so cute and colorful and they never go out of style so there’s a chance grandchildren might wear them someday. The rest you can donate!

Toys: A treasured stuffie or other item your small child loved. Maybe curate a (small) collection of things you’d like to play with future grandchildren. I saved our Thomas The Train set and children’s books but they will stay with us, not go to my kids! Please, please, please don’t save bins and bins of Legos. I know you paid a lot for them and they are a universally loved toy. Your kids will go on their own Lego journey if/when they have their own children – they won’t want their old ones!!

If you’re Still Struggling

If you are having a hard time letting go of the physical things, I have 2 suggestions:

1. Take a picture of the thing before you let it go

2. Many of the items you are poring over you have likely captured in photos. Instead of keeping the physical things, put some effort into organizing and digitizing your pictures. Photos are the best way to relive memories of raising kids! I have a Photo Organizing Checklist that can help on that journey.

Decluttering your grown kids’ stuff is indeed daunting but can also be a lot of fun and a way to connect with those busy adults you raised. If you re-frame it as an adventure down Memory Lane instead of a scary chore you’re dreading you might actually enjoy it!

The post Exactly how to declutter your grown kids’ stuff appeared first on Method Seattle.

It’s here – time to trundle your precious child off to college!  I successfully delivered 3 freshman over 5 years. Those experiences combined with lessons learned from clients informed all of the advice in this post. The College Drop Off is a time of big feelings, physical exertions and organized chaos. It pays to be as organized as possible heading into the big event. This post covers my 3 biggest pieces of wisdom as you launch the child who, mere moments ago, was headed off to Kindergarten(!)  Hopefully it will make the ride on the emotional roller-coaster a little less bumpy.

Before I get to the 3 ways to a smooth drop off experience a quick disclaimer: your experience will be very different moving a boy in vs a girl.  I have both and it was like night and day.  In most cases a boy will need/want 50% less of everything I’m going to talk about here. Nor will he have big opinions about decor.  When I moved my son in we stopped at 3 stores for the shopping. The actual move-in took about an hour. The post-game analysis was that he didn’t use any of the additional items I thought would be nice to have (e.g. folding gaming chair!)  When I moved my first daughter in it took two days, multiple store trips and hours of furniture assembly. Not kidding. True story. 

Regardless of the gender of your darling, here are 3 guaranteed ways to make your college drop off easier!

Research The Room

The first thing I advise doing before you shop for the college drop off is try to get a visual of the dorm room. This is way easier to do than you’d think. First resource is the college’s website – many offer 3D tours of the rooms in each dorm.  Some even have a feature that allows you to take measurements of the dresser, closet, bed height, etc.  This is VERY helpful to have when you are planning your shopping trip!  If your kid’s school does not have visuals on their site I recommend looking on YouTube for room tours that various students put up. You are almost sure to find not only your school but your kid’s actual dorm and can see how students have set it up.  Most of the time they even walk you through why they set up the way they did.

For my middle’s move-in we bought the exact products from Target and Ikea that were in the dorm tour we found. It eliminated all of the time we would have spent trying to optimize. (Which was good because we spent that time assembling drawer units instead!) Getting the room visual up front will also save you money and unnecessary trips back to the store for things you missed or to return what wouldn’t fit.  If you really want a slam dunk you could purchase a DIY plan from a Professional Organizer. Most organizers offer one and if you have a good visual and measurements you can cut your move-in time in half!

Have A Shopping Strategy

If you don’t have a shopping list for the college drop off yet you can download my College Essentials Checklist.  Once you’ve done your room research and have a list of essentials you are ready to shop.  Where and how you shop depends on whether you are driving your student to move in or flying.  If you are driving I recommend doing your shopping before you leave and packing up your car Tetris-style. It will streamline your arrival and enable you to pull up to the dorm like a boss at your assigned time.

If your incoming freshman is going to school in a state that requires a plane flight I recommend the following. Identify the stores closest to campus (Target, Ikea, The Container Store all have a lot of what you need) and shop online before you arrive.  Most stores will hold your purchases for several days before you pick them up. However, it is a good idea to check first to see how long they will keep your items before they refund you and return them to stock.  The number of days varies by store (and sometimes by location) so it’s smart to get that info so your stuff is actually there when you show up.

Here’s an inventory of my favorite storage essentials in my Amazon shop. They work in almost all room sizes and configurations. In most cases the place you will be able to squeeze in the most extra storage is under the bed that is at chest height to accommodate drawer units.

Clutter Prevention

Dorm shopping trips tend to explode into carts full of stuff your student will never use if you aren’t careful. The offender is what I call the ‘amenities’ category.  These are things that in theory should make the room comfortable, more like home.  Except the kid isn’t at home, and this isn’t a studio apartment it’s a dorm room.  It’s not supposed to be like home.

The three amenities your child is most likely to use and appreciate in their freshman dorm are a mini fridge (drinks), a microwave (leftover take out) and a coffee maker (IF your kid likes coffee). Any other appliances are extraneous and unnecessary.  Avoid any extra furniture.  Your kid will study, eat, sleep and hang out on their bed – it’s really all they need. 

So go nuts buying things to make the bed comfortable but stay away from extra chairs, futons, etc.  I recommend a lean approach to dorm room amenities for the college drop off. Here’s why: Amazon will deliver should the need arise for something that you didn’t deem ‘essential’ during the shopping trips. Let them order what they need (if they need it) later. That way you will avoid a bunch of clutter coming home with them when the school year is over. Trust me, I’ve seen this happen with multiple clients. All the ‘just in case’ things their parents purchased at move-in never get touched. Let them go nuts decorating the walls if they want, but don’t buy a bunch of stuff they’ll likely never use!

So there you have it.  If you get a dorm room visual ahead of time, plan your shopping accordingly based on whether you are flying or driving to school and keep the amenities to a minimum you are setting yourself up for a smooth transition from parent-of-a-teenager to parent-of-a-college-student.  I wish you well on your journey!

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School is out! Quick, before you have a chance to blow it off and start your summer let’s quickly deal with your kids’ artwork. The artwork that is currently occupying wall space, drawers, boxes, files and piles in your house. As a professional organizer, what to do with kids’ art is one of the biggest challenges my clients face. It quickly becomes so big that it’s overwhelming to contemplate dealing with. It is then stuffed away in boxes where it languishes for decades.

The sentiment around kids’ art & schoolwork is understandable. It’s so cute! It transports you to a time in their development that you can’t get back. But you probably won’t return to visit because the sheer volume of what you saved will prevent you from enjoying it.

So what should you do? Here is a 3 step system to follow that will give you the best of both worlds; easily accessible memories that don’t take up all  of your storage real estate..

If your kids are in their pre/elementary years – GREAT. You can implement this system now before the boxes take over! If your kids are in high school or flown you can use the last 2 steps to back-track your editing process. In this case the bad news is there is a lot to sift through. The good news is it will be easier to edit now that you have some perspective and wisdom under your belt!

Intake

The first step in the system is to set up a spot for intake. You need to know where to put the kids’ art when they proudly pass it along to you. For this step you don’t really need to do any organizing per se. A single bin, drawer or paper organizer like this one will work fine.

If you have the presence of mind to edit in-the-moment, that’s great. You can probably already easily discern between the keepers and the pieces destined for the recycle bin. In my own experience I like to revisit the art that is combined with a story (e.g. ‘what I did for summer vacation’, or ‘why my mom is great’) because it also gives insight into their little developing minds.  Beware of the extra-large or 3-D pieces that are hard to store! Those you can capture in a picture!

The important thing about the intake spot is that it is somewhere that’s easy to access. If you have to walk far or to another floor in the house for the bin the system will break down.

Edit

Okay, you’ve been collecting the intake for the whole school year and now you have a bin full of potential keepers. Now it’s time to edit!  Grab your budding artist and get their input on their favorites. This is a fantastic learning opportunity, editing is a life skill! Prioritizing the best and letting go of the rest applies to almost every profession and industry so start ‘em young!

Once they’ve chosen their favorites from the bin, toss the rest in the recycle bin. If you have any uncomfortable feelings about letting go, just remind yourself that MORE IS COMING.

Once you’ve gone through the (first) edit, have your kid sit on the floor and surround them with the pieces they’ve chosen. Take a photo – now you’ve captured not only the art but where your kid was in their development when they created it. It’s helpful if there is an indication, like a sign, somewhere in the photo of what grade this collection represents. Create an album on your phone (‘Charlotte’s Art’) and throw the photo in there for safe-keeping. Or use an app like Class Keeper to keep everything organized.

Now comes the hard part. Once you’ve taken the photo, have your child pick one or two very-favorites to keep as originals. The rest go into the recycle bin.  I know it’s hard but remember you’ve got the photo (and MORE IS COMING.) If you need emotional or editing support for this step my 30 minute coaching sessions are there for you!

Archive

If you are back-tracking this project after the kids have grown it’s important to recognize who you are saving this stuff for; your kids or yourself. That means you should probably ask your grown kids if they care about an archive. Some will, many won’t.  If yours don’t then you know what you are saving is for you to enjoy and that will help you to archive only your very favorites.

I urge you to keep your physical archive small. One box per child is optimal. If your kids are in their prolific years now you can use that one box as a storage boundary, when it’s full you’ll need to edit before you add more. If you are back-track archiving, it’s the perfect editing lens. One box is easy to store, easy to access, easy to flip through.

If you would like a more durable archive you can create a book or a number of other products through companies like artkive. They aren’t cheap and there is some effort involved but it’s a nice way to capture memories. In terms of boxes you want something that is designed for paper and has archival properties. I’ve assembled some options here. And remember the very best pieces you can fram and display – I have some of my kids’ art hanging that I still love to look at every time I pass by.

At the end of the day this system will help you absorb the intake, document these fun developmental years in your child’s life and put yourself in a position to enjoy the memories down the road. Which is the whole point, really – right?

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