In midlife, many of us are living in homes we chose for a different season of life. Extra bedrooms for our kids, lots of storage to house sports equipment, camping gear and everything you need to entertain a crowd. As the kids begin to filter out, our homes and the stuff in them tend to stay static. We may anticipate the need to downsize someday, but in the meantime we keep all of that stuff because we have room for it.

Here’s a thought: You don’t need to wait until you move to begin downsizing your belongings. In fact, you don’t need a smaller home to begin enjoying the delights of living with less.

Just Because You Have the Space Doesn’t Mean You Need the Stuff

Over the years we somehow felt the need to fill up every space in our homes, as if it was wasted if not used. We absently stuffed things into closets and drawers even after they were already full because we could. Furniture we inherited but didn’t actually need found a home alongside what we already owned. It never occurred to us to make room for it by letting go of something else.

You may have a guest room currently serving as a dumping ground for everything that doesn’t have a home. Or a garage you can’t park in due to the boxes, bins and furniture that have piled up over the years. Or closets that aren’t fun to open. If any of this sounds familiar, now would be a great time for a downsize of your stuff.

Sure all those things aren’t actually bothering you. They aren’t interfering with your daily life because you don’t really interact with them much.

But you may not realize they are actually weighing on you mentally. Well, more like the knowledge that you’ll have to deal with them eventually is weighing on you. When you declutter the things from the earlier seasons of life, you aren’t just doing your future self the favor of making the downsizing process easier. You are clarifying the things that matter in your life today, and making room to appreciate them.

Don’t Downsize Everything. Rethink What You Need

I’d like to clarify that when I tell you to downsize your belongings, I don’t mean focusing exclusively on editing down every category. Sure you may edit down from 12 wine openers to 6, or rethink how many mugs you actually need, but some categories could probably be edited entirely. 

Do you have a closet full of ‘work’ clothes you never wear now that your office is at home? Is camping a distant memory? When was the last time you entertained a crowd? So much of what we own supports roles we no longer play. Keeping all that stuff around doesn’t preserve those chapters of our lives, and letting them go does not erase them! Reconsider categories based on your current lifestyle, rather than a smaller version of your old one.

Remember, your goal isn’t to own less of everything. It’s to be intentional about what you keep.Your belongings should serve the life you’re living, not the one you’ve already lived. Believe me when I tell you that you won’t miss those things when they are gone. And if you end up needing a tent someday, you can always borrow one!

Make the Hard Decisions Before You Have To

When you downsize your belongings before you downsize your home you are doing future you a huge favor. Because downsizing under pressure (a move, health event, family emergency) makes an already emotional process harder.

When you start downsizing your stuff early, you have the luxury of taking my favorite approach: small efforts performed consistently over time! Breaking the huge job of downsizing the buildup of 30+ years into small, manageable pieces allows you to build up your decluttering muscle. That means you’ll gain decision-making confidence. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment after each effort is complete which boosts your momentum. And you’ll be well-equipped to push through the temporary feelings of discomfort.

Another bonus of decluttering before you have to? Having the time to involve others (like your grown kids

) in the decisions, help a reluctant spouse along the path and potentially find good homes for the things you loved but no longer have use for. None of that is possible when the need to purge is urgent. Take the time now to make thoughtful decisions and you will appreciate the wisdom of those decisions decades into the future.

Start Living Smaller Now

Listen, you may not be planning a move in the next 5 years. Maybe your plan is actually to age in place and not leave your current home at all. Whether you think you’ll downsize someday or not, you can enjoy the benefits of less stuff starting now.

After all, we have decades of life left to look forward to. How about making space for what’s important in this next chapter? You may have all the space in the world, but that doesn’t mean the junk filling it up is serving you.

Maybe try living with less stuff and more space and see how it feels. You may realize how good it feels to open a closet of things you actually wear. Or find what you need immediately when you open a drawer. One of my favorite feelings is the sense of calm and relaxation that washes over me when I remove visual clutter from open shelves and surfaces.

You don’t need the urgency of a smaller home to downsize what’s filling up your current one. Start your downsize today and see what a difference it makes in your midlife!

The post Why You Should Downsize Your Stuff (Even If You’re Not Moving) appeared first on Method Seattle.

In case you hadn’t heard, I recently wrote a book called The Midlife Edit. It tries to make sense of the hairball-like task that is decluttering in midlife. In the book, on my social media platforms and on this blog I offer practical advice, mindset shifts and support for anyone making tough decisions about what to let go of and what to keep in this season of life where so much is converging on us at once.

My expertise is born of hundreds of hours spent with organizing clients, helping my dad downsize to a home one-third the size of his house, and of course my own journey of decluttering amidst a career change and three kids leaving the nest. When you are in that deep sharing decluttering wisdom you can begin to feel like what you’re offering are platitudes, given how often you repeat yourself! But I came across a study survey recently that fully validated everything I talk about in my book, the blog and on the socials.

The Great Junk Transfer is a survey conducted by 1-800-GOT-JUNK? with whom I recently entered a partnership. They surveyed 2200 people across the U.S., Canada and Australia about the stuff they inherited or expected to inherit. They shared the study with me, and the results are illuminating. I’d like to bring forward the themes that were the most validating for me in the hopes that they will spur you on in your own decluttering journey!

Our stuff is a burden to our kids

I’ve helped so many people through the emotional and overwhelming process of cleaning out a parent’s home. For many, the experience becomes a wake-up call. It prompts them to take a closer look at their own clutter and consider the burden they may be leaving behind for their children if they don’t take action. 

So I was not surprised to see that nearly half the people in the survey would rather inherit nothing than deal with the stuff their parents left behind. The prospect of dealing with a household full of possessions that their parents never decluttered is so daunting that people are willing to sacrifice the things they actually would like to have.

In The Midlife Edit, I focus on all the benefits that decluttering in midlife unlocks in your life. You should declutter for that reason alone! But leaving a manageable estate for your kids is a benefit to them as well. If you truly want to pass some meaningful items on to your kids someday, ensure it happens by shedding the deadwood now.

Value Quality Over Quantity

What constitutes a small amount of meaningful items? Here’s another fun fact from The Great Junk Transfer: The average number of items that people would prefer to inherit from a relative was 12-15. And the most common response was 1-5 items. Think about that for a minute. Now think about the potential number of physical things in your home. Everything from books to clothing to plates to paper clips. Several years ago there was an unsubstantiated claim circulating that the average American household contained over 300,000 individual items. That seems high to me but even if the real number is half that, compare it to the 12-15 meaningful items you’d be passing down to the next generation. Damn…it’s eye-opening.

Don’t be scared though. What the 12-15 validates for me is that you should be curating as you declutter. You don’t have to keep everything, but you don’t have to get rid of everything either! We are decluttering in midlife – we aren’t death cleaning quite yet. You don’t need to pare down to the bare minimum now. But I’m guessing that there is a lot of stuff laying around your house that you know you don’t need and your kids won’t want!

Emotional Labor is the Biggest Burden

So why is that deadwood still hanging around? Well, decluttering in midlife asks a lot of you. Sorting through decades of belongings, making a myriad of decisions, and working through all of the uncomfortable emotions that come up along the way. And then you still have to get everything out of the house!

In the survey ‘Emotional Weight’ participants cited as the biggest single concern when clearing out a loved one’s estate. That resonates for me because in my experience emotional weight is also the biggest blocker to decluttering our own homes, especially in midlife! That’s why I have multiple chapters in The Midlife Edit dedicated to mindset and navigating the emotional waters of decluttering.

So here’s a thought – let someone else help with the physical part. You do the work of deciding  what stays and what goes. Then let someone else handle the lifting, loading, and removal. That help can be a godsend. Most especially for bulky furniture, heavy equipment, and the things you’ve wanted gone for years.

What I often see is how folks get so exhausted from the decision-making process that they don’t follow through with the actual removal of the stuff from their home. (And thus they aren’t actually reaping any benefit from their hard work!) This is where a junk removal service can be a godsend. When the physical work and logistics exceed your time, energy, or ability – outsourcing is the smart strategy and is absolutely worth the money.

The Great Midlife Declutter

Midlife is the perfect time for a clutter reset. You’re pruning back the layers to make space for the things that matter and leave room for new growth. And at the same time you’re saving your kids from the emotional and physical burden of clearing out your home someday. Because even though we have decades of life left to live, once you’ve done the great midlife declutter, you’ll consider the things you bring into your home with fresh (and clutter-sensitive) eyes.

I’m continuing to use my fresh eyes as I declutter my own empty nest in small, consistent efforts. And whenever I come across something too big to fit in my car (like the box spring from my youngest’s former room) I take the opportunity to scour for other items that have become part of the backdrop (a compost barrel, 3 broken fans, a retired vacuum, a neglected planter) and then I call 1-800-GOT-JUNK? to cart it away. And immediately I feel lighter.

The post Decluttering in Midlife: What Your Kids Really Want You to Know appeared first on Method Seattle.

Decluttering sentimental items can be so challenging. But often we reflexively keep things around that we think are sentimental to us. 

For instance, think of all the things you have from your parents or grandparents. Now mentally separate them into two groups. First there are the ones that evoke specific memories for you. The geode bookends that were a fixture in the home you grew up in that still make you smile. The chess set your grandfather carved out of jade that makes you think of him every time you see it. A glass measuring cup of your mom’s you use in your kitchen.

The second category is things that meant a lot to your parent, but your connection to them lies only in the fact that they belonged to your parent. A necklace of your mother’s that is not your style. Your dad’s collection of putters collecting dust since you don’t golf. An ‘heirloom’ dresser from your grandparents’ house that has taken up permanent residence in your garage because it clashes with the rest of the furniture in your house.

Sentimental savers accumulate lots of things over the years that belonged to people they love, whether they were intentionally chosen or just bestowed. When you’re decluttering, you may have a hard time letting go of anything that once belonged to your mom (or dad, or grandparent.) When that happens, it’s important to note the distinction between keeping something that brings back your memories vs. holding on to it out of obligation to someone else’s.

Being sentimental is fine. It doesn’t mean you can’t declutter! You should keep things around that make you happy and remind you of people you love. Just make sure the things you are keeping are sentimental to you.

You’re Allowed to Keep Things That Mean Something to You

You do not have to justify every keepsake by its usefulness! Decluttering sentimental items does not mean getting rid of a concert ticket stub, a handwritten letter, or a high school yearbook. You can keep all these things if they hold meaning for you, it’s perfectly okay. (Note: please do not keep them buried in a box at the bottom of a pile of stuff in your basement. If you can’t access them then why exactly are you saving them? But I digress…)

Decluttering does not mean you have to let go of everything meaningful to you. A curated collection of items from your past is fun to visit every once in a while. The key word here is ‘curated.’ If there is too much sentimental stuff, let’s face it – you aren’t ever going to enjoy it because it will feel more like a chore to go through than a fun romp down memory lane.

The first place to make edits are to the things that hold sentimental value to other people, and we all have examples of this even though we may not realize it!

You Don’t Have to Inherit Someone Else’s Attachment

You can have sentimental attachment to people without having to keep their stuff. Your parents’ affection for their china, collections or furniture doesn’t create an obligation for you to keep them. Don’t conflate love for the person with love for the thing that once belonged to them. Decluttering sentimental items that were sentimental to other people does not demean your feelings for the loved ones that valued them.

Even if this something was important to your mom or dad, it doesn’t have to hold the same value for you. An easy way to identify the things you shouldn’t be keeping is to ask yourself ‘If I didn’t know how much they loved this, would I choose to keep it?’ If the answer is no, you can let it go (without guilt!)

When you choose pieces that feel meaningful to you, you’ll be more likely to enjoy them. They won’t merely be taking up space in your home, waiting for the next generation to shoulder the load of obligation.

Your Kids Get to Choose Their Own Keepsakes

Speaking of the next generation, the same rule applies to the stuff you care about as it relates to them. These things you are keeping are meaningful to you. It doesn’t follow that your kids will care about the David Bowie concert ticket, or the letters from your high school boyfriend or the collection of china birthday figurines your grandparents added to each year.

In fact, let your kids know now that the things you are keeping are for your own enjoyment and they have no obligation to keep all of it themselves. There may be some things they’d like to have but the choice is theirs. This is going to save them a whole lot of grief and guilt down the line.

And don’t be offended if they express ambivalence for items you treasure. Different people are different. Different generations are certainly different. Whether they are interested in your wedding china or not has no bearing on their love for you. So don’t make them feel like they should love everything that you love!

Share the stories behind your belongings if you like, but emphasize that your enjoyment of something now doesn’t depend on your kids wanting it later.

Remember The Sentimental Stuff Is About You

It’s a lovely thing to revisit fond memories. But keeping things around that don’t hold personal memories for you is a waste of precious space. And expecting your kids to make space for your memories isn’t fair to them. Decluttering sentimental items that don’t specifically relate to you is a good exercise to do now, so they don’t have to do it later.

You can honor someone else’s memories without making their belongings your responsibility. And you can treasure your own keepsakes without asking your kids to do the same. After all, your memories are all about you – so let that be your filter!

The post Decluttering Sentimental Items: Whose Memories Are You Keeping? appeared first on Method Seattle.

It’s officially Fall and that means it’s time to declutter your closet. I always write a blog as I’m swapping my own closet because I love the familiar ritual of putting away my summer clothes and pulling out my sweaters and boots. But this year I’m late and not because the weather has been warm here in Seattle (which it has!) I’m late partly because I’m physically hampered as I recover from my mastectomy but also because my closet is in a transition.

My closet is normally a reflection of my current life. Swapping is an easy opportunity to assess what I wore and what I didn’t. But this year everything feels different. I lost 23lbs over the summer (thank you GLP-1!) and in addition to that, the mastectomy changed the landscape of my upper half, plus the surgery itself left me temporarily unable to lift one of my arms over my head. That means button-up options only for a while, sigh.

So this year I’m writing about how to approach your closet when your body or life is undergoing one of the myriad of transitions we go through in midlife. Could be menopause-related changes to your body, retirement, moving to a warmer climate or a career change. The work is harder when you know your old wardrobe doesn’t entirely fit your future—but you don’t know exactly what that future looks like yet. This calls for a slightly different lens than you would normally use. as you declutter your closet.

Don’t Make Permanent Decisions in a Temporary Season

Standard decluttering wisdom says “If it doesn’t fit your life right now, let it go.” When you’re in a transition, that advice is simply too rigid. If you’re on a weight-loss journey, recovering from surgery or newly retired, you may not know what you’ll want six months from now.

Uncertainty is a legitimate reason to pause, but it doesn’t mean keep everything either. In my case there are a couple of dynamics going on. One of my transitions I know is temporary, i.e. the button-up-only wardrobe. So no, I’m not getting rid of all my pullover sweaters and beloved sweatshirts because of this temporary situation. The shape of my chest is also temporary as I will be having reconstructive surgery once I’m through chemo and radiation. I’m planning on a smaller chest when that happens. So my available wardrobe is friendlier to my DD chest, my current chest is completely flat, and my Summer of 2027 chest will be more like a B. How’s that for transitions? 

My recent weight loss is throwing more uncertainty on the fire. Will I be losing more weight when I’m on chemo? Will less exercise mean I’ll be gaining some back? It’s totally unclear at the moment.  So for my closet swap this Fall I will be decluttering as per usual but with a new wrinkle. Some things will stay in the ‘keep’ category, some will definitely be ‘donate’ but there will be a new category: ‘transition.’ In my transition category will be a deliberately limited number of pieces I’m not ready to make a decision about yet.

Having a transition category as you declutter your closet doesn’t give you carte blanche to keep everything or punt all decisions. This is still a removal exercise. So let’s explore how the transition category layers on to your closet swap.

Is It “Not Right Now” or “Not Anymore”?

As you swap seasons, take the opportunity to declutter your closet with a new filter. Ask better questions than ‘does it fit’? Instead, separate ‘I might need this’ from ‘this still belongs in my life.’

A dressed-up work wardrobe might still fit after retirement – but do you actually want to dress that way anymore? Do you still need all those high heels for instance? Clothes from before a body change (weight gain or weight loss) might technically fit again someday – but would you choose them again? You’re ditching cold winters for a warmer clime – does that mean you don’t need any sweaters?

Something you haven’t worn because of surgery or another temporary circumstance is very different from something you haven’t worn because it belongs to a version of your life that’s over. Here’s how you can think about it:

Temporary mismatch: This doesn’t work for my life right now.

Permanent mismatch: This doesn’t feel like me anymore.

The temporary disconnect is where your transition category can come into play. The permanent mismatches are where you can and should be much more confident about letting go.

Let’s use my closet as an example. I will never be a 34DD again – that season of my life is over. So bye-bye to all of my bras. But what about the jeans that fit before my weight loss? Should I keep them all, since I don’t know if my weight will fluctuate again? No – I shouldn’t. I’m going to single out just a couple of pairs in the larger size – the ones I love the best. They will go into the transition category. If I do gain weight back they’ll be there for me. If I don’t I can have them taken in – which I would pay to do because I love them. The rest can go.

Your transition category should be small. It’s just a few items that you love but don’t work for you while you’re in your transition. 

You Don’t Need a Closet for Every Possible Future

Yes, transitions add some complexity when you declutter your closet. But don’t overthink it. Rather than trying to anticipate every possible future scenario, build around what you know while making space for future needs.

Keep the seasonal things you love, reach for, feel good in and are reasonably confident you’ll wear. Give yourself permission to have some gaps. You can buy a new blazer later if retirement turns out to include occasions that require one. You don’t need eight of them sitting in your closet as insurance. And because this is a seasonal closet swap ritual that you do twice a year, you have a natural built-in checkpoint. You aren’t deciding what you’ll need for the rest of your life. You’re deciding what deserves space for this next season.

So don’t worry about making perfect decisions, but err on the side of letting go of what’s not serving your closet today. Keep a few transition pieces, but make room for the future even though it seems foggy at the moment.

Do not use your transition category as an excuse to fall back into a ‘what if I want this later’ mindset. You’re smarter and stronger than that!

You Don’t Need a Closet for Every Possible Future

Yes, transitions add some complexity when you declutter your closet. But don’t overthink it. Rather than trying to anticipate every possible future scenario, build around what you know while making space for future needs.

Keep the seasonal things you love, reach for, feel good in and are reasonably confident you’ll wear. Give yourself permission to have some gaps. You can buy a new blazer later if retirement turns out to include occasions that require one. You don’t need eight of them sitting in your closet as insurance. And because this is a seasonal closet swap ritual that you do twice a year, you have a natural built-in checkpoint. You aren’t deciding what you’ll need for the rest of your life. You’re deciding what deserves space for this next season.

So don’t worry about making perfect decisions, but err on the side of letting go of what’s not serving your closet today. Keep a few transition pieces, but make room for the future even though it seems foggy at the moment.

Do not use your transition category as an excuse to fall back into a ‘what if I want this later’ mindset. You’re smarter and stronger than that!

Make Room for the Life That’s Taking Shape

Midlife is full of transitions that impact your closet. Our closets accumulate artifacts of former jobs, former bodies, former routines and former versions of ourselves. A life transition makes it harder to know what stays because the next version isn’t fully formed yet.

What you’re after with this closet swap is to keep enough to give your future self options. Let go of what you already know you’re finished with. Then give yourself permission to figure out the rest as you go. You don’t need to know exactly what the future holds to make space for the things that matter.

The post How to Declutter Your Closet When You Don’t Know What Comes Next appeared first on Method Seattle.

If you’ve been a reader of this blog for a while you are familiar with my philosophy of decluttering in midlife: for the best results, make the effort small and consistent. I stand by that philosophy, it effectively removes the overwhelm and helps you build the decluttering muscle you need to tackle some of the harder stuff. It’s what I practice in my own home.

But sometimes life throws you a curve ball.  A forcing function such as a sudden move to a smaller home, a health event or a divorce takes away the luxury of small, consistent decluttering efforts. You have to declutter quickly because time is a factor.

My recent stay in the ICU due to a massive pulmonary embolism put some things in perspective for me. I should note that my health event did not precipitate the need to declutter as I have been taking the slow and steady approach for years. But it did validate two things that I coach all the time with clients.

1. When it comes down to it, people are way more important than things
2. The things that are important are the ones you use frequently

The people were what I missed most when I was dying to get out of the hospital. And when I finally did arrive home I was happy to see my ‘every day’ things, 

These truths can serve as guiding principles when you have to move quickly. When your timeline for decluttering gets shorter, your decision-making framework needs to evolve to meet it. Let’s explore what that looks like.

1. Let the Deadline Change Your Standards

When you’re on a deadline and need to declutter quickly you cannot deliberate over every item. You cannot make the ‘perfect’ choice every time. And you won’t. What you can do is set your bar high for what has earned the right to stay in your life. Here are some common themes you don’t/won’t have time for:

‘Could I possibly use this someday?’

‘Keeping it is the right thing to do’

‘It’s wasteful to get rid of it’

‘I’ve had it forever’

Keep your focus on what is relevant in your life today. All of the other noisy thoughts can take a back seat to that. If it isn’t currently relevant, it’s not worth deliberating over. Yes, this means being more ruthless – but ruthless is appropriate for the circumstances.

When I was in the hospital and desperately wanted to come home, I missed the things I see and use on a daily basis. My glassybabies, for one. My Dutch Oven for another. What I didn’t miss and wasn’t thinking about at all was the random stuff in the downstairs hall closet, the collection of my grandmother’s figurines sitting in a box in our storage area, or my kids’ lacrosse sticks that still linger on with a bunch of other sports equipment we no longer use.

If I had to turn on a dime and downsize, my number one decision filter would be this. Does it bring me joy and/or serve me in my life today? Everything else is secondary to that. Stay away from hypotheticals and lean into the evidence.

Which brings me to my next recommendation for decluttering quickly, the inside-out method.

2. Work From The Inside Out

One of the most exhausting aspects of decluttering a lot of stuff fast is decision fatigue. Because decluttering on an urgent timeline is inherently overwhelming in its size and scope, an inside-out approach is a smart way to avoid it. 

How does inside-out decluttering work? By flipping the process on its head. Instead, you pull out only the items that fit your priorities.  Then you get rid of the rest of the stuff without actually going through it piece by piece.

Inside out decluttering is ‘pull’ vs. ‘push’. That means you need to spend a little brain time with pen and paper to compose a list of things you know you want. This may feel like a waste of precious time when you’re on a deadline but in fact it’s the exact opposite. Once you’ve assembled a list of the non-negotiable keeps, everything else can be left largely unscrutinized and that’s the big unlock to time-savings.

It may seem unrealistic if you’re mentally applying it to a whole house, but if you’re talking about a single room it becomes a lot more doable. Trusting your knowing is key, that’s the voice of reason that helps you drown out any unhelpful thoughts.

3. Trust That You Won’t Miss Most Of It

Speaking of trust, don’t stress if it feels like you’re leaving too much behind. You may regret a thing or two because of how fast you’re moving but mostly you won’t miss it. And the greatest gift of a declutter like this is that you now have the physical and mental space to appreciate the things that really matter. The things you kept with intention.

And those few things you regret leaving behind? You can likely replace them, borrow them or frankly, live without them! Try it out and see how quickly they fade from your memory.

When you have to declutter quickly you’ll make a few mistakes, but it’s worth getting the job done with the least amount of stress. Overall you’ll be happy, and the mistakes end up being a pretty good trade for that happiness.

When Life Forces Your Hand

Reminder, this approach is for specific circumstances only – when there is an acute event forcing you to declutter quickly. If you have six months to declutter, take six months. Better yet, play the long game and do it over years, like I am. There’s no prize for decluttering your house as quickly as possible. 

But if life gives you six weeks, you can do it differently. Give yourself permission to make faster decisions, lower the bar for how perfectly everything leaves the house, and trust yourself. A crisis has a brutal way of clarifying what matters – I can attest to that. I wouldn’t recommend learning that lesson the way I did—but I absolutely plan to keep that lesson in my back pocket!

The post How to Declutter Quickly When Life Forces Your Hand appeared first on Method Seattle.

Your brain has opinions about everything you declutter, and those unhelpful thoughts can really get in your way. Do any of these sound familiar?

‘What if I need it someday?’

‘I paid so much for this.’

‘My mom gave it to me.’

‘I’ll get to it eventually.’

‘I only want it to go to someone who will appreciate it’

This unwanted running commentary can really put a crimp in your efforts to rid yourself of the stuff you don’t use. But it doesn’t have to!

Here’s the thing: these thoughts are completely normal. Most of us have them. They are extremely human. The problem isn’t having the thoughts per se. Rather, it’s treating every thought as though it deserves the final say in what you actually do. 

Below are three strategies you can use to build up your decluttering muscle. When you are able to notice the thoughts going through your head without reflexively obeying them, decluttering won’t feel as hard as it does now.

1. A Thought Is Not a Fact

Not every thought deserves your attention, but we sure treat them like they do! Thoughts are brain activity, not facts. Think of them as visitors passing through (like passing clouds!) instead of directives you must follow. They can feel really convincing, especially when they are tied to money, guilt, memories, obligation or fear.

Let’s separate the thoughts from facts using our earlier examples:

Unhelpful Thought: “What if I need it someday?”

Check the Fact: “I haven’t needed it in 12 years.”

Unhelpful Thought: “I paid SO much for it – I’m wasting money.”

Check the Fact: “The money is already gone whether I keep it or not.”

Unhelpful Thought: “My mom gave it to me.”

Check the Fact: “Letting this go does not mean I don’t love my mom.”

Unhelpful Thought: “I’ll get to it eventually”

Check the Fact: “I haven’t followed through yet, and chances are I won’t ever.”

Unhelpful Thought: “I only want it to go to someone who will appreciate it.”

Check the Fact: “I can’t control the outcome of every item I donate.”

Please don’t imagine you’ll need to argue with yourself over every item you declutter. You don’t need to stage a debate every time, you merely need to recognize the thought as it’s passing through. “There’s that thought again. Now, what do I actually know to be true?”

2. Stop Letting Temporary Discomfort Make Permanent Decisions

Remember how it’s helpful to think of your unhelpful thoughts as visitors passing through? Well, the nice thing about these visitors is that their stay is short. In other words, the discomfort they cause is temporary. When you know this, it’s easier to resist when they try to take over the decision-making process.

It’s true that holding on to something because of unhelpful feelings like guilt or fear does provide some immediate relief. You don’t have to feel guilty about Mom, admit the expensive purchase was a mistake, worry about needing something later, or accept that you’re probably never going to finish that project.

But if you follow through with the decision to declutter despite the unhelpful thoughts, you’ll find that they see themselves out before long. And the more you practice letting them pass through, the easier the process becomes. You don’t become comfortable letting go before you practice letting go. It happens because you’ve repeatedly experienced the uncomfortable thought, made the decision anyway, and discovered that you were okay afterward. This is what building decluttering muscle looks like!

3. Give Your Goals a Louder Voice Than Your Unhelpful Thoughts

Here’s another thing about your unhelpful thoughts, they are only powerful in the silo of a single decision. In other words, when you put the decision to declutter something hard into the bigger context of your goals, the unhelpful thoughts lose a lot of their power.

When you are struggling to make a decluttering decision, try zooming out and laying it up against what you are trying to accomplish overall.

Ask purposeful questions like these:

“Which matters more to me: avoiding this temporary discomfort or making meaningful progress?”

“Does keeping this help me create the home I want for my life now?”

“Is this important enough to take up space in my next chapter?”

Purpose is a powerful thing. If you are clear on your purpose, you can use it to flex your decluttering muscle when you hit a rough spot. Before you know it, staying in service of your larger decluttering goal becomes the louder voice in your head (and this one is a helpful voice!), enabling you to push through again and again.

Reminder: You Don’t Have to Believe Everything You Think

Friends, successful decluttering doesn’t mean reaching some magical point where you never think ‘What if I need it?’ ever again. The skill is learning to hear the thought and keep going.

Remember that your thoughts are not facts.

Remember that the discomfort is temporary.

Remember that your goals are a powerful antidote to the unhelpful thoughts.

Yes, your brain has opinions – as it should! But you don’t need to let those opinions drive your decluttering decisions!

The post How to Stop Unhelpful Thoughts From Derailing Your Decluttering appeared first on Method Seattle.

As I write this blog, I’m mentally preparing for my upcoming surgery. Recovery is going to be hard (yes I know, I Can Do Hard Things!) so I’m preparing for that as well. I don’t have control of what my body will be feeling after the surgery, but I do have control over the environment I recover in.

With that in mind, I will be adding comforting elements to my recovery. I’ve assembled a list of movies to watch (many that I’ve seen before that I know will be comforting!) Knowing that color brings me visual comfort, I’ve styled my glassybabies in a transitional Fall palette that will subtly delight me from the background of my living room. And lastly, I’ve arranged for my closest friends (and my dad!) to come hang out in shifts the first week when doing anything is going to be really hard.

We often approach a hard thing like surgery recovery or decluttering like it’s something we just need to grit our teeth and get through, but there’s a smarter way to approach it! Let’s walk through how you can make decluttering easier before you ever sit down to do the work.

Stop Making Decluttering Feel Like Punishment

Yes, decluttering in midlife  can involve physical work, hundreds of decisions and uncomfortable emotions – boo! The first thing you can do to make decluttering easier is set your body and mind up for success. That means avoiding the following conditions:

• Decluttering when you’re hungry
• Decluttering when you’re tired
• Decluttering when you are upset (one caveat: rage decluttering can be highly effective!)

Make sure your body and mind are in a good place going in, it will really have an impact on your experience. I recommend picking your best time of day (mine is morning) to declutter, especially if you are working through the harder emotional categories like a loved one’s belongings or your grown kids’ stuff. You need your best mental energy going in, not just physical strength.

Also – decide ahead of time how long your decluttering session will be. Plan for something shorter than you think you can do. When you make the session finite, you make it manageable and you won’t dread it as much going in. If you block out an entire Saturday to declutter it feels like a sentence.

Add Something Good To Something Hard

In none of my favorite books, Atomic Habits – James Clear’s 2nd Law of Habits is ‘Make It Attractive.’ You can make decluttering easier by adding positive elements to your environment, thus making the act itself more attractive to your brain. 

How do you do this? How about popping in your ear pods and turning on a podcast or audio book? I do this when I’m working independently in a client’s home and it helps the time pass quickly. Or, if the decisions you’re making are of the tougher variety, have a comforting playlist happening in the background. Here’s one I made that you can try out!

Another bit of pleasure I like to add when I’m decluttering is a drink. Specifically, a drink that feels like a treat. Sure, you could just have your water bottle handy, but a Grande Iced Oatmilk Latte with half a pump of vanilla is SO much better!

Another idea – add a friend to the process. Not to help you do the work, necessarily – but just be there for support. This idea works best if you A) pick the right friend (no judgy ones, please) and B) keep your session on the shorter side. It can be helpful, even pleasurable to have someone there to tell your stories to. I have found that people have an easier time parting with things after they have told someone about them. It works like a release trigger of sorts. And hanging out with your friends is always fun, it really gets the dopamine flowing!

Make Today’s Decluttering Session Help Tomorrow’s

Okay you’ve taken all of my suggestions and are having a grand old time at your decluttering session. Now here’s where the magic really happens!

The marathon session that leaves you exhausted, surrounded by piles and thinking ‘what a nightmare that was!’ reinforces the resistance your brain feels the next time you go to declutter.

On the flip side, the manageable session where you went in fresh, added some positive elements and finished without burning out gives you a completely different experience. In fact, it leaves a positive imprint on your brain. So the next time (and there will be lots of next times since you are in midlife and have a lot of clutter to get through!) you will be rearing and ready to go!

Every time you prepare yourself and your environment for decluttering, you’re building mental evidence that it doesn’t have to be some awful chore that you dread. Every positive experience makes it a little easier to come back and declutter again.

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

Preparation sounds like such a serious word, but it’s not that deep folks! A few minutes of thinning ahead and making smart decisions before you begin makes decluttering easier. And increases the chances that you can make a habit of it.

I am not making a habit of having surgery (although I have at least one more in my future!) but I know that all the little positive elements I’ve added to my recovery will add up to less gritting of my teeth. And more positive vibes.

The post How to Make Decluttering Easier Before You Even Start appeared first on Method Seattle.

Yesterday I was doing a Tabata ride on my Peloton and the instructor said ‘There is a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield.’ I was consumed by surviving the ride (did I mention it was Tabata?) and breathless so I didn’t catch the rest of what she said and why it applied to what we were doing. But for the rest of the class I kept thinking: that’s the perfect way to approach decluttering in midlife.

By the time midlife hits, we’ve accumulated decades of physical evidence of where we’ve been: our childhoods, hobbies, parenthood, people we loved, places we’ve been, things we spent a lot of money on. None of that is inherently clutter, per se – but it does become a problem when it’s taking up room you could be using for the life you are living now.

Decluttering in midlife is not about erasing the past, it’s about right-sizing it to make room for what’s next. I never thought I’d be writing a blog about something I heard in a spinning class, but here we are. Follow me, if you like, while I tug at this thread for a bit.

You Don’t Need To Keep The Whole Story

As humans,we tend to treat belongings of the past as proof. Proof that something happened, mattered, or was part of who we were.But here’s the thing: there are so many ways to preserve a piece of the past that doesn’t require preserving all the stuff associated with it.

Do you need all 150 pictures from the day your firstborn came home from the hospital? Maybe 10 would suffice to preserve that memory. Must you keep every figurine that your grandfather collected on his military travels through Asia or would 1 be enough? Is it required that you save each and every drawing your youngest made? Or just a few, like the one she drew of your family skiing where everyone is wearing hilariously huge helmets?

Decluttering in midlife should mean pulling out the gems that preserve your story.  Then prune back the rest so it doesn’t dominate the storage space or the vibe in your home.

Your Home Has A Finite Amount of Real Estate

Yes, I know that sounds obvious! Every bit of space you devote to storing your past means it is unavailable for something else. You weren’t thinking about it in your 30’s because you didn’t have much stuff yet. In your 40’s you were way too busy to notice how much was piling up (just stick it in storage!) But now that midlife has hit, the tradeoff has become obvious because we all have 50+ years of ‘the past.’

Keeping things around seemed innocuous for years, but now those things are occupying space that could support the life you are living now. Overstuffed closet and dresser drawers? How many of those clothes even fit you? Or support the occasions you dress for today? What about your kids’ bedrooms? Could that space support a newer hobby or interest that is currently competing for space? And have you actually integrated the stuff you got from your parents or is it occupying the garage space where you used to park your cars?

Tradeoffs, all! Decluttering in midlife is an opportunity to make those tradeoffs, ensuring the space in your home comfortably reflects your current priorities and interests.

Turn Your Attention To The Windshield

When the tough decisions come up, keep your focus on the windshield. What do you need room for now? The answer to that question may be a kitchen that’s easy to cook in, an inviting landing place for guests or space in the garage to brew beer! When I look around at my friends’ homes, I see all kinds of fun ways they are repurposing space in their homes; a gear room for hiking, a cocktail bar setup, an art studio. At my house I cleared out a storage room that had turned into a dumping ground for everything from memorabilia to inherited furniture into a lovely office space for my (then) new business. 

Maybe you don’t know what you need space for yet – that’s okay too. Believe me when I tell you that easier maintenance, less visual noise and greater flexibility are good enough reasons to declutter in midlife. Clearing the clutter gives you room to explore what’s possible. And the power to bring home something new and exciting without the hassle of cramming into space you don’t have.

Smaller In The Back, Bigger In The Front

That rearview mirror is useful, you definitely want to keep it around. You’re supposed to look at it, just don’t drive while staring into it! To be honest, once I decluttered I enjoyed the things I saved so much more because they were no longer buried in boxes and bins under stuff that wasn’t important.

Now I have the space to enjoy them – and I do! You aren’t turning your back on your past by pruning it back. You’re making space for the future that’s in front of you.

We have plenty of life left to live – this isn’t a death cleaning exercise! Just a little right sizing to keep us on track to enjoy the decades we have left.

So when you’re decluttering, keep your eyes on that big ol’ windshield. The rearview mirror has a purpose and a place, but you’re moving forward – not back!

The post Decluttering In Midlife: Your Past Is Taking Up Too Much Space appeared first on Method Seattle.

I promise I’m not going to write about cancer every week, but obviously it’s top of mind for me at the moment. And since I’m working on building up my mental strength for multiple surgeries and treatments, there is a lot of natural crossover with decluttering. This week I’m focusing on a specific shift of perspective around loss and thinking about swapping instead.

Many folks fear decluttering because they view it as a net loss. Loss of identity, of memories, of investments in both time and money. I’m struggling with a similar mindset right now as I face recovery from a double mastectomy. I am someone who works hard on her fitness. I work out 5 days a week: running, stationary biking on my Peloton and strength training with weights. While I’m not a natural athlete, I do the work because it is in the short and long-term interests of my physical and mental health. The fact that I won’t be able to participate in my workout routine for weeks feels like a big loss.

But what if I re-framed that loss as a swap? I may be losing my work out as I recover from the surgery but staying off my feet during that time gives me something important: the ability to travel in October. Why is that important? Because my book comes out at the end of September and I have book events (plus an awesome Napa weekend with my college girlfriends!) scheduled in October, I do not want to miss those events. If everything goes smoothly with my recovery (i.e. If I don’t push myself to get ‘back to normal activities’ too fast) then I should be able to make those trips. So that’s what I’m going to think about when I’m antsy and want to push a boundary.

You can use a similar re-frame when you are fearing the losses you’ll incur as you declutter. I’ve got three great swapping examples for you.

Swapping For Space

For some reason, we do not place the same value on space that we do the things in it. If there is enough open space to fit a piece of furniture we will jam it in. If there is an open shelf in a closet we will happily fill it. And often we crowd things out of the space they are supposed to occupy (cars in a garage come to mind.) As if our homes were nothing but storage for the thousands of things we own.

I often describe decluttering in midlife as ‘shedding the deadwood.’ Some of the deadwood items are things you don’t use but may feel attached to. For instance, tent the family used to sleep in on camping trips you no longer take. Or a bunch of plaques and awards from a career that were relevant back when you were still working. Letting go of that stuff can feel like a loss.

So instead, think of the space you are gaining once it’s gone. More open space means you can see what you have. Move through a room more easily. Feel a sense of calm when you look across at a bookshelf that was once stuffed to the gills. 

We take space for granted, but you definitely notice the difference once you have it back. Swapping stuff for space is a good trade!

Swapping For Function

As I’ve already noted, we unwittingly turn our homes into storage units as we accumulate more and more things. How about the guest room that turned into a dumping ground for anything that didn’t have a home? Or what about the treadmill that you hardly ever use? It lives in your bedroom and is often draped in cast-off clothing and Amazon boxes. How about the alcove that would make a great reading nook if it was cleared of debris?

There are many ways your home can work for you if you remove ‘storage unit’ from its resume. (And don’t get me started on actual storage units!) Midlife is a fantastic time to reassess your home’s functions and how you can clear space for something you’d like to do. Home gym? Studio space? Library? Workshop? Gear room?

You aren’t losing things you’ve had ‘forever’, you’re swapping storage for functionality!

Swapping For Something Better

I am a huge proponent of midlife upgrades. We have lived through enough years using things that work ‘just fine’ and when we deservedly bring in a newer, better version we keep them both. Letting go of the sheet pan that has seen better days in service of a new USA Pan that is superior in every way is a good swap. Saying goodbye to the steel-frame bike that served you well 10 years ago in favor of a shiny new carbon-frame version that’s 15lbs lighter is a worthy upgrade. You don’t need to keep the 11 other wine-openers when you splurge on the fancy Coravin that doesn’t remove the cork (whaaaat?!?!)

You get the point. When you are feeling bad because you’re getting rid of something ‘perfectly good’ just remember, you are actually swapping for an upgrade in midlife. And deserve to do so!

The Higher Purpose

The swapping mindset is really just a way to help your higher purpose front-of- mind. Whether your goal is more space, functionality or a midlife upgrade – that’s what you should remember when your brain is telling you you’re going to miss the things you’re letting go.

As for me, while I recover from surgery I will be setting aside my fitness goals in service of the trips I desperately want to take in October. And whenever I’m feeling the loss, I’ll remind myself that it’s actually just a swap – and a good one at that!

The post Swapping, Not Losing: A Midlife Approach to Decluttering appeared first on Method Seattle.

So I was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks ago (boo, hiss!) I’ve communicated with my friends and family, there is a treatment plan in place and about a hundred different medical appointments on my calendar instead of organizing sessions. It’s a lot to process and I know it’s going to be a journey to rid my body of this pesky disease. I’m going to need physical and mental strength.

But what I’ve found myself thinking about most is the mental strength I’m going to need on this journey. I’m going to be dealing with all kinds of feelings: fear, disappointment, frustration, anger, guilt. It’s going to be a lot to navigate! And of course that got me thinking about how the advice I dole out on a daily basis for decluttering is advice I’m going to have to take myself, ha!

Because here’s a little secret you may not know. A lot of the tricks, tips and hacks that I write about in the context of decluttering also work for other tricky emotional situations. In fact, they are skills that you may be applying to decluttering now, but you’ll be able to use them in other areas of your life as well. (Hopefully not what I’m using them for but you get the picture!)

I thought I would use this week’s blog to focus on three ways to build your mental strength for decluttering. They also happen to be things that I’m going to focus on along my cancer journey as well. Writing about them helps rewire my own brain so I can get through this thing with my spirit intact. Thanks for bearing with me!

Do The Next Right Thing

One of our brains’ favorite hobbies is catastrophizing. It loves to race ahead to every possible problem, every worst-case scenario, every decision that hasn’t even arrived yet. When you’re decluttering, that sounds like:

“What if I regret getting rid of this?”

“What if I need it someday?”

“How am I ever going to finish this whole house?”

My brain is trying to do the exact same thing right now. I’m a big picture girl and a planner. I always like to be 3 steps ahead. My brain wants to fast-forward months into treatments I haven’t had yet and conversations that haven’t happened. But none of that helps me today.

So instead, I’m building mental strength by asking myself one simple question: What’s the next right thing?

Not the next fifty things – just the next one. Maybe that’s finding a friend to accompany me to an appointment. Or taking a shower post-surgery. Or resting (something I’m not very good at!) 

When you’re decluttering, maybe it’s tackling one drawer. Or researching donation spots. Or simply opening the door of the doom room you’ve been scared to enter. Momentum is built one next right thing at a time. Your brain will keep trying to drag you into the future. Your job is simply to bring it back to today.

Your Thoughts Are Not Facts

Here’s something I remind my clients all the time: Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. Building mental strength means not accepting intrusive thoughts as facts.

Your mind is like a bus with many passengers on board. Those passengers are your thoughts.

Some of the thoughts are helpful:

“I should probably declutter this because I never use it.”

And some of them aren’t:

“I spent so much money on it, if I declutter it, it’s like I wasted that money.”

You can’t help your thoughts—they are part of you and part of being human! But, you don’t have to let them drive the bus. In fact, you can kick them off once they’ve said their piece!

My own intrusive thoughts have been coming in fast and furious lately. Of course it’s natural given the situation but I am going to have to practice recognizing them and escorting them off my bus. I often find that when you stop to check the facts they don’t line up with what you were thinking since the intrusive thoughts were being so noisy in the back!

Hard Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Do It

I sign off every social media caption with the mantra ‘You Can Do Hard Things.’  I love it because it’s so true that it seems obvious and yet we don’t do things all the time because we think they’re too hard.

Something feels hard, so we reflexively decide it must be beyond us. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Decluttering is hard. Sorting through a lifetime of possessions is hard. Making hundreds of decisions is hard. Letting go of guilt is hard. But none of that means you can’t do it! Build up some mental strength and you absolutely can!

In midlife we have the benefit of wisdom. We’ve lived through a lot of life and have accomplished many hard things. We’ve raised families, navigated careers, experienced loss, weathered disappointments and don’t even get me started on menopause!

You are strong. Decluttering is hard but you can do hard things. Cancer is going to be hard but I know I have the balls (forgive me, I just had to! 😂) to take it on. Because I’ve done plenty of other hard things and come out the other side.

You’ve Got This

Mental strength doesn’t just happen – just like anything else you need to build it up with lots of reps and practice. You will be amazed at how much stronger you will be coming out of your midlife decluttering journey. It really is cathartic!

I can’t say if my cancer journey will be cathartic, too early for that. But I do know what I need to work on so that it doesn’t kick my ass mentally. And I’m getting my first reps in with this blog.

Thanks for helping me out! 💪🏻

The post Midlife Decluttering Is Hard: 3 Ways to Build the Mental Strength to Do It appeared first on Method Seattle.