As I write this blog, I’m mentally preparing for my upcoming surgery. Recovery is going to be hard (yes I know, I Can Do Hard Things!) so I’m preparing for that as well. I don’t have control of what my body will be feeling after the surgery, but I do have control over the environment I recover in.

With that in mind, I will be adding comforting elements to my recovery. I’ve assembled a list of movies to watch (many that I’ve seen before that I know will be comforting!) Knowing that color brings me visual comfort, I’ve styled my glassybabies in a transitional Fall palette that will subtly delight me from the background of my living room. And lastly, I’ve arranged for my closest friends (and my dad!) to come hang out in shifts the first week when doing anything is going to be really hard.

We often approach a hard thing like surgery recovery or decluttering like it’s something we just need to grit our teeth and get through, but there’s a smarter way to approach it! Let’s walk through how you can make decluttering easier before you ever sit down to do the work.

Stop Making Decluttering Feel Like Punishment

Yes, decluttering in midlife  can involve physical work, hundreds of decisions and uncomfortable emotions – boo! The first thing you can do to make decluttering easier is set your body and mind up for success. That means avoiding the following conditions:

• Decluttering when you’re hungry
• Decluttering when you’re tired
• Decluttering when you are upset (one caveat: rage decluttering can be highly effective!)

Make sure your body and mind are in a good place going in, it will really have an impact on your experience. I recommend picking your best time of day (mine is morning) to declutter, especially if you are working through the harder emotional categories like a loved one’s belongings or your grown kids’ stuff. You need your best mental energy going in, not just physical strength.

Also – decide ahead of time how long your decluttering session will be. Plan for something shorter than you think you can do. When you make the session finite, you make it manageable and you won’t dread it as much going in. If you block out an entire Saturday to declutter it feels like a sentence.

Add Something Good To Something Hard

In none of my favorite books, Atomic Habits – James Clear’s 2nd Law of Habits is ‘Make It Attractive.’ You can make decluttering easier by adding positive elements to your environment, thus making the act itself more attractive to your brain. 

How do you do this? How about popping in your ear pods and turning on a podcast or audio book? I do this when I’m working independently in a client’s home and it helps the time pass quickly. Or, if the decisions you’re making are of the tougher variety, have a comforting playlist happening in the background. Here’s one I made that you can try out!

Another bit of pleasure I like to add when I’m decluttering is a drink. Specifically, a drink that feels like a treat. Sure, you could just have your water bottle handy, but a Grande Iced Oatmilk Latte with half a pump of vanilla is SO much better!

Another idea – add a friend to the process. Not to help you do the work, necessarily – but just be there for support. This idea works best if you A) pick the right friend (no judgy ones, please) and B) keep your session on the shorter side. It can be helpful, even pleasurable to have someone there to tell your stories to. I have found that people have an easier time parting with things after they have told someone about them. It works like a release trigger of sorts. And hanging out with your friends is always fun, it really gets the dopamine flowing!

Make Today’s Decluttering Session Help Tomorrow’s

Okay you’ve taken all of my suggestions and are having a grand old time at your decluttering session. Now here’s where the magic really happens!

The marathon session that leaves you exhausted, surrounded by piles and thinking ‘what a nightmare that was!’ reinforces the resistance your brain feels the next time you go to declutter.

On the flip side, the manageable session where you went in fresh, added some positive elements and finished without burning out gives you a completely different experience. In fact, it leaves a positive imprint on your brain. So the next time (and there will be lots of next times since you are in midlife and have a lot of clutter to get through!) you will be rearing and ready to go!

Every time you prepare yourself and your environment for decluttering, you’re building mental evidence that it doesn’t have to be some awful chore that you dread. Every positive experience makes it a little easier to come back and declutter again.

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

Preparation sounds like such a serious word, but it’s not that deep folks! A few minutes of thinning ahead and making smart decisions before you begin makes decluttering easier. And increases the chances that you can make a habit of it.

I am not making a habit of having surgery (although I have at least one more in my future!) but I know that all the little positive elements I’ve added to my recovery will add up to less gritting of my teeth. And more positive vibes.

The post How to Make Decluttering Easier Before You Even Start appeared first on Method Seattle.

Yesterday I was doing a Tabata ride on my Peloton and the instructor said ‘There is a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield.’ I was consumed by surviving the ride (did I mention it was Tabata?) and breathless so I didn’t catch the rest of what she said and why it applied to what we were doing. But for the rest of the class I kept thinking: that’s the perfect way to approach decluttering in midlife.

By the time midlife hits, we’ve accumulated decades of physical evidence of where we’ve been: our childhoods, hobbies, parenthood, people we loved, places we’ve been, things we spent a lot of money on. None of that is inherently clutter, per se – but it does become a problem when it’s taking up room you could be using for the life you are living now.

Decluttering in midlife is not about erasing the past, it’s about right-sizing it to make room for what’s next. I never thought I’d be writing a blog about something I heard in a spinning class, but here we are. Follow me, if you like, while I tug at this thread for a bit.

You Don’t Need To Keep The Whole Story

As humans,we tend to treat belongings of the past as proof. Proof that something happened, mattered, or was part of who we were.But here’s the thing: there are so many ways to preserve a piece of the past that doesn’t require preserving all the stuff associated with it.

Do you need all 150 pictures from the day your firstborn came home from the hospital? Maybe 10 would suffice to preserve that memory. Must you keep every figurine that your grandfather collected on his military travels through Asia or would 1 be enough? Is it required that you save each and every drawing your youngest made? Or just a few, like the one she drew of your family skiing where everyone is wearing hilariously huge helmets?

Decluttering in midlife should mean pulling out the gems that preserve your story.  Then prune back the rest so it doesn’t dominate the storage space or the vibe in your home.

Your Home Has A Finite Amount of Real Estate

Yes, I know that sounds obvious! Every bit of space you devote to storing your past means it is unavailable for something else. You weren’t thinking about it in your 30’s because you didn’t have much stuff yet. In your 40’s you were way too busy to notice how much was piling up (just stick it in storage!) But now that midlife has hit, the tradeoff has become obvious because we all have 50+ years of ‘the past.’

Keeping things around seemed innocuous for years, but now those things are occupying space that could support the life you are living now. Overstuffed closet and dresser drawers? How many of those clothes even fit you? Or support the occasions you dress for today? What about your kids’ bedrooms? Could that space support a newer hobby or interest that is currently competing for space? And have you actually integrated the stuff you got from your parents or is it occupying the garage space where you used to park your cars?

Tradeoffs, all! Decluttering in midlife is an opportunity to make those tradeoffs, ensuring the space in your home comfortably reflects your current priorities and interests.

Turn Your Attention To The Windshield

When the tough decisions come up, keep your focus on the windshield. What do you need room for now? The answer to that question may be a kitchen that’s easy to cook in, an inviting landing place for guests or space in the garage to brew beer! When I look around at my friends’ homes, I see all kinds of fun ways they are repurposing space in their homes; a gear room for hiking, a cocktail bar setup, an art studio. At my house I cleared out a storage room that had turned into a dumping ground for everything from memorabilia to inherited furniture into a lovely office space for my (then) new business. 

Maybe you don’t know what you need space for yet – that’s okay too. Believe me when I tell you that easier maintenance, less visual noise and greater flexibility are good enough reasons to declutter in midlife. Clearing the clutter gives you room to explore what’s possible. And the power to bring home something new and exciting without the hassle of cramming into space you don’t have.

Smaller In The Back, Bigger In The Front

That rearview mirror is useful, you definitely want to keep it around. You’re supposed to look at it, just don’t drive while staring into it! To be honest, once I decluttered I enjoyed the things I saved so much more because they were no longer buried in boxes and bins under stuff that wasn’t important.

Now I have the space to enjoy them – and I do! You aren’t turning your back on your past by pruning it back. You’re making space for the future that’s in front of you.

We have plenty of life left to live – this isn’t a death cleaning exercise! Just a little right sizing to keep us on track to enjoy the decades we have left.

So when you’re decluttering, keep your eyes on that big ol’ windshield. The rearview mirror has a purpose and a place, but you’re moving forward – not back!

The post Decluttering In Midlife: Your Past Is Taking Up Too Much Space appeared first on Method Seattle.

I promise I’m not going to write about cancer every week, but obviously it’s top of mind for me at the moment. And since I’m working on building up my mental strength for multiple surgeries and treatments, there is a lot of natural crossover with decluttering. This week I’m focusing on a specific shift of perspective around loss and thinking about swapping instead.

Many folks fear decluttering because they view it as a net loss. Loss of identity, of memories, of investments in both time and money. I’m struggling with a similar mindset right now as I face recovery from a double mastectomy. I am someone who works hard on her fitness. I work out 5 days a week: running, stationary biking on my Peloton and strength training with weights. While I’m not a natural athlete, I do the work because it is in the short and long-term interests of my physical and mental health. The fact that I won’t be able to participate in my workout routine for weeks feels like a big loss.

But what if I re-framed that loss as a swap? I may be losing my work out as I recover from the surgery but staying off my feet during that time gives me something important: the ability to travel in October. Why is that important? Because my book comes out at the end of September and I have book events (plus an awesome Napa weekend with my college girlfriends!) scheduled in October, I do not want to miss those events. If everything goes smoothly with my recovery (i.e. If I don’t push myself to get ‘back to normal activities’ too fast) then I should be able to make those trips. So that’s what I’m going to think about when I’m antsy and want to push a boundary.

You can use a similar re-frame when you are fearing the losses you’ll incur as you declutter. I’ve got three great swapping examples for you.

Swapping For Space

For some reason, we do not place the same value on space that we do the things in it. If there is enough open space to fit a piece of furniture we will jam it in. If there is an open shelf in a closet we will happily fill it. And often we crowd things out of the space they are supposed to occupy (cars in a garage come to mind.) As if our homes were nothing but storage for the thousands of things we own.

I often describe decluttering in midlife as ‘shedding the deadwood.’ Some of the deadwood items are things you don’t use but may feel attached to. For instance, tent the family used to sleep in on camping trips you no longer take. Or a bunch of plaques and awards from a career that were relevant back when you were still working. Letting go of that stuff can feel like a loss.

So instead, think of the space you are gaining once it’s gone. More open space means you can see what you have. Move through a room more easily. Feel a sense of calm when you look across at a bookshelf that was once stuffed to the gills. 

We take space for granted, but you definitely notice the difference once you have it back. Swapping stuff for space is a good trade!

Swapping For Function

As I’ve already noted, we unwittingly turn our homes into storage units as we accumulate more and more things. How about the guest room that turned into a dumping ground for anything that didn’t have a home? Or what about the treadmill that you hardly ever use? It lives in your bedroom and is often draped in cast-off clothing and Amazon boxes. How about the alcove that would make a great reading nook if it was cleared of debris?

There are many ways your home can work for you if you remove ‘storage unit’ from its resume. (And don’t get me started on actual storage units!) Midlife is a fantastic time to reassess your home’s functions and how you can clear space for something you’d like to do. Home gym? Studio space? Library? Workshop? Gear room?

You aren’t losing things you’ve had ‘forever’, you’re swapping storage for functionality!

Swapping For Something Better

I am a huge proponent of midlife upgrades. We have lived through enough years using things that work ‘just fine’ and when we deservedly bring in a newer, better version we keep them both. Letting go of the sheet pan that has seen better days in service of a new USA Pan that is superior in every way is a good swap. Saying goodbye to the steel-frame bike that served you well 10 years ago in favor of a shiny new carbon-frame version that’s 15lbs lighter is a worthy upgrade. You don’t need to keep the 11 other wine-openers when you splurge on the fancy Coravin that doesn’t remove the cork (whaaaat?!?!)

You get the point. When you are feeling bad because you’re getting rid of something ‘perfectly good’ just remember, you are actually swapping for an upgrade in midlife. And deserve to do so!

The Higher Purpose

The swapping mindset is really just a way to help your higher purpose front-of- mind. Whether your goal is more space, functionality or a midlife upgrade – that’s what you should remember when your brain is telling you you’re going to miss the things you’re letting go.

As for me, while I recover from surgery I will be setting aside my fitness goals in service of the trips I desperately want to take in October. And whenever I’m feeling the loss, I’ll remind myself that it’s actually just a swap – and a good one at that!

The post Swapping, Not Losing: A Midlife Approach to Decluttering appeared first on Method Seattle.

So I was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks ago (boo, hiss!) I’ve communicated with my friends and family, there is a treatment plan in place and about a hundred different medical appointments on my calendar instead of organizing sessions. It’s a lot to process and I know it’s going to be a journey to rid my body of this pesky disease. I’m going to need physical and mental strength.

But what I’ve found myself thinking about most is the mental strength I’m going to need on this journey. I’m going to be dealing with all kinds of feelings: fear, disappointment, frustration, anger, guilt. It’s going to be a lot to navigate! And of course that got me thinking about how the advice I dole out on a daily basis for decluttering is advice I’m going to have to take myself, ha!

Because here’s a little secret you may not know. A lot of the tricks, tips and hacks that I write about in the context of decluttering also work for other tricky emotional situations. In fact, they are skills that you may be applying to decluttering now, but you’ll be able to use them in other areas of your life as well. (Hopefully not what I’m using them for but you get the picture!)

I thought I would use this week’s blog to focus on three ways to build your mental strength for decluttering. They also happen to be things that I’m going to focus on along my cancer journey as well. Writing about them helps rewire my own brain so I can get through this thing with my spirit intact. Thanks for bearing with me!

Do The Next Right Thing

One of our brains’ favorite hobbies is catastrophizing. It loves to race ahead to every possible problem, every worst-case scenario, every decision that hasn’t even arrived yet. When you’re decluttering, that sounds like:

“What if I regret getting rid of this?”

“What if I need it someday?”

“How am I ever going to finish this whole house?”

My brain is trying to do the exact same thing right now. I’m a big picture girl and a planner. I always like to be 3 steps ahead. My brain wants to fast-forward months into treatments I haven’t had yet and conversations that haven’t happened. But none of that helps me today.

So instead, I’m building mental strength by asking myself one simple question: What’s the next right thing?

Not the next fifty things – just the next one. Maybe that’s finding a friend to accompany me to an appointment. Or taking a shower post-surgery. Or resting (something I’m not very good at!) 

When you’re decluttering, maybe it’s tackling one drawer. Or researching donation spots. Or simply opening the door of the doom room you’ve been scared to enter. Momentum is built one next right thing at a time. Your brain will keep trying to drag you into the future. Your job is simply to bring it back to today.

Your Thoughts Are Not Facts

Here’s something I remind my clients all the time: Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. Building mental strength means not accepting intrusive thoughts as facts.

Your mind is like a bus with many passengers on board. Those passengers are your thoughts.

Some of the thoughts are helpful:

“I should probably declutter this because I never use it.”

And some of them aren’t:

“I spent so much money on it, if I declutter it, it’s like I wasted that money.”

You can’t help your thoughts—they are part of you and part of being human! But, you don’t have to let them drive the bus. In fact, you can kick them off once they’ve said their piece!

My own intrusive thoughts have been coming in fast and furious lately. Of course it’s natural given the situation but I am going to have to practice recognizing them and escorting them off my bus. I often find that when you stop to check the facts they don’t line up with what you were thinking since the intrusive thoughts were being so noisy in the back!

Hard Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Do It

I sign off every social media caption with the mantra ‘You Can Do Hard Things.’  I love it because it’s so true that it seems obvious and yet we don’t do things all the time because we think they’re too hard.

Something feels hard, so we reflexively decide it must be beyond us. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Decluttering is hard. Sorting through a lifetime of possessions is hard. Making hundreds of decisions is hard. Letting go of guilt is hard. But none of that means you can’t do it! Build up some mental strength and you absolutely can!

In midlife we have the benefit of wisdom. We’ve lived through a lot of life and have accomplished many hard things. We’ve raised families, navigated careers, experienced loss, weathered disappointments and don’t even get me started on menopause!

You are strong. Decluttering is hard but you can do hard things. Cancer is going to be hard but I know I have the balls (forgive me, I just had to! 😂) to take it on. Because I’ve done plenty of other hard things and come out the other side.

You’ve Got This

Mental strength doesn’t just happen – just like anything else you need to build it up with lots of reps and practice. You will be amazed at how much stronger you will be coming out of your midlife decluttering journey. It really is cathartic!

I can’t say if my cancer journey will be cathartic, too early for that. But I do know what I need to work on so that it doesn’t kick my ass mentally. And I’m getting my first reps in with this blog.

Thanks for helping me out! 💪🏻

The post Midlife Decluttering Is Hard: 3 Ways to Build the Mental Strength to Do It appeared first on Method Seattle.

Even if you’ve been working your way through your own midlife clutter, there isn’t much that can prepare you for clearing out your parents’ home.

Whether your parents lived in the same home for 10 years or 50, decluttering after they’re gone is unlike any project you’ve tackled before. That’s true no matter how complicated your relationship was or how much you loved them. And to add insult to injury, alongside your grief, there’s also a very practical job that has to get done.

If you’re facing this now – or know you will someday – I hope this helps you approach it with a little more grace for yourself. It will never be easy, but a little bit of advance mental preparation goes a long way toward smoothing the bumpy road.

The biggest challenges facing you as you face decluttering your parents’ home are the sheer overwhelming size of the job, working through your own grief and many other emotions that come up as you go and navigating the feelings of siblings and other family members. It’s a lot for sure, but I’m going to break it down for you and truthfully, just being aware of these challenges goes a long way toward facing them bravely and gracefully.

1. The Size of the Job Can Feel Impossible

Even if your parent wasn’t a hoarder, decades of accumulated belongings can feel paralyzing. Your parents’ home is filled with furniture, paperwork, collections, clothing and all of the practical things needed to keep a house.

I know it feels daunting, but mentally separating those categories before you even begin the work is helpful. The two categories to think about first: the furniture and the practical household items. Why those two? Furniture is big so there aren’t as many decisions but most pieces will require a logistical plan to move. Are there pieces that you or other family members want? Is there enough in quantity and quality to have an estate sale? What happens to the stuff nobody wants?

As for the practical household items, presumably they do not hold any sentimental value to you or others. You can go through (or hire someone to) round up the shampoo, the cleaning supplies, the paper clips, the contents of the medicine cabinet and anything else that falls into the category of ‘mundane household.’ You don’t need that stuff – and your parents don’t either. Please do not waste energy trying to figure out good homes for paper clips. You need to conserve your wits for the harder decisions!

Clothing is another category that you can deal with quickly. It’s more emotional for sure, but think about it before you get into the closets. Is there a piece or two you’d like to have? (I kept a Patagonia jacket of my mom’s – I wear it on colder winter mornings when I take the dogs out and think about her giving me a nice warm hug.) Take a couple of items and then the rest can easily be donated. Scope out a spot before you’re into the work (pick someplace close, with good hours and an easy process.) Delegate the donation run to someone else who needs a job to do.

The harder categories like paperwork, collections and anything sentimental you may want to save for later – if that’s possible. If you are on a time crunch to clear the house out, taking some of that stuff with you to sort out later when the grief isn’t so raw makes a lot of sense. That said, your home should not turn into a storage unit for these things. Thinking beforehand about what papers are important to keep, what collections you might like to have for yourself, etc. means you can look for those things – set them aside – and not spend precious energy going through every single file, trinket and photo album.

The bottom line is, if you have even a rough practical plan in place for the work of clearing the home of possessions, you will have more energy to expend on the emotional journey you’re facing.

2. The Grief Roller Coaster

As you declutter your parents’ home, the emotions will be coming hard and fast. That’s just a fact – there isn’t really anything you can do to stop it from happening. What you can do is give yourself permission to feel the feelings (they won’t kill you, I promise) and come prepared with a lot of Kleenex. Trying to push the emotions away is going to come back and haunt you later, letting yourself feel them now is healthier in the long run.

Expect your emotions to surprise you. You may breeze through some rooms and completely fall apart over an old grocery list with your mom’s handwriting or her favorite sweater (or Patagonia jacket, see above!) Keep calm and grab that Kleenex – the tears are gonna be what they are.

The tricky part about your feelings is they can start to mess with your decision-making process. Some items carry deep meaning; many don’t. But your feelings may try to convince you that you are a bad daughter/son for getting rid of the Lladro collection that your mom loved but you never cared for. You are not a bad child.  In case you get caught up in feelings, let me say this to you now: you don’t have to keep everything to honor someone you loved. Keep the things that have meaning to you. The things that will make you (eventually) smile when you see them.

It doesn’t have to be a lot (in fact, it shouldn’t be – remember you have a lot of your own stuff back at your house!) A few things will help you as you continue along on your grief journey. Too many will end up boxed in your garage where they won’t do anyone any good.

3. Protect Your Relationships with Your Siblings

This is, in my opinion, the hardest challenge when decluttering your parents’ home. Some sibling relationships are fraught, some are close. Some siblings are separated by distance, where one or more carried the majority of caretaking duties as their parents’ aged. The intricacies and nuances of your specific relationship with your siblings doesn’t necessarily have a strong bearing on how this process goes.

Even in the best sibling relationships, people have different skill sets. Individuals, even if they are related – have different ways that they grieve. Some are better in a crisis. Others are good at tackling a to-do list. And different people have different relationships to things. One sibling may want to save everything; another may be ready to empty the house immediately. I obviously can’t advise on specific family dynamics here, that would be impossible. However, I can offer a few guiding principles that can help you get the job done while preserving your familial relationships. Here they are, in no specific order:

• Assume best intentions wherever possible
• Try for early communication (that is, before you begin in the house) about roles, expectations and decision-making
• Go in ready to make some compromises
• Play to individual strengths when figuring out who is taking care of what
• Remember that at the end of the day, your relationships with the living matter more than the physical things your parents left behind

In an ideal world you are leaning on each other through this process. It isn’t always possible, but going in with a good mindset can help immensely.

It’s Never Easy

Nobody goes through the process of clearing out their parents’ home and enjoys it. You’ll probably second-guess some decisions. You’ll probably keep a few things you didn’t plan to and let go of others you thought you never could. That’s okay!

There isn’t one perfect way to tackle this job – you just have to power through. But with a bit of insight and mental preparation, you can survive it with your wits and relationships intact. (Maybe your tear ducts will need some time off 😉).

The post Decluttering Your Parents’ Home After They’ve Passed: The Hardest Decluttering You’ll Ever Do appeared first on Method Seattle.

One of the first things people tell me is, “I can’t declutter, I’m just too sentimental.” I get it. We all have things that genuinely mean something to us. And when you’re in midlife it can feel like you are attached to everything – to all of it. So many stages of your life are represented in your home. How could you possibly part with things that mean so much to you?

Well, I have to tell you – after working with hundreds of clients, I’ve noticed something surprising. Most people dramatically overestimate how much of their clutter is actually sentimental. If we emptied your house onto the lawn and looked honestly at each item, I suspect only a small percentage would truly hold deep emotional meaning for you. 

Sentimental clutter is only a small piece of your bigger clutter problem. The majority of the stuff ended up in your home for much less romantic reasons. When you take a look at the three biggest ones your huge decluttering project will feel a lot less scary. Let’s jump in.

1. It Seemed Important at the Time

Let’s begin with the sentimental clutter that you actually kept for sentimental reasons…at one time. Let’s face it – we can’t always predict the future and if you are someone who is sentimentally-inclined, you probably saved a lot of stuff you don’t actually care about now.

Here are some examples: Your kids’ schoolwork, greeting cards, souvenirs, clothing you’ll never wear again. Everybody’s list will be a little different – but if you’ve saved things for decades that list is probably pretty long. You have been operating under the assumption that because you intentionally saved it at one time, you still feel the same way about it today. What you’ll realize when you actually come across this stuff again is that it doesn’t pull on your heartstrings the way it once did.

I’ll give you an example from my house (because, yes – I am a sentimental soul myself!) I intentionally saved most of my high school and college papers. I was an English major and got great grades on my papers, which is why I think I saved them. They came with me into my marriage, I moved them multiple times and I never reread them once. I just gave them sentimental value by default – even though it was clear I didn’t care enough to actually read them. When decluttering a few years ago I pulled them out and was honest with myself – I didn’t need to continue keeping them. And guess what? It didn’t hurt to let them go!

Let’s be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel attached to your college papers (or any of the other things I listed.) However, I am challenging you to ask yourself whether you still are. In some cases the answer may be yes, but in a lot of instances you’ll find that things don’t often hold the same value in your heart once so much time has passed.

2. You Kept It for Someone Else

Okay, now for the sentimental clutter that isn’t really about you, per se. This one is sneaky because it feels like you kept it for sentimental reasons but it was actually someone else’s feelings that dictated the choice.

Examples in this category: Things that mattered to your parents that they gave you. Gifts you received over the years that you didn’t care for that came from someone you love. Family ‘heirlooms’ gathering dust in your garage. Lovingly handmade things you don’t use.

In these cases, let’s be honest – you are not sentimentally attached to the item. You are sentimentally attached to the person associated with the item. You’re not keeping these things because they improve your life or bring you joy. But letting go of them seems mean or cold.

Here’s where I’ll encourage you to separate the object from the person – they are two separate and distinct things. You are not honoring anyone by continuing to store a bunch of stuff you don’t like. Keeping these things buried in your basement is not a testament to your love. Let the stuff go – you can appreciate the person without keeping everything that was/is important to them.

And no, you don’t have to tell them.

3. You Didn’t Intentionally Save It…You Just Never Got Rid of It

This one is my favorite of the three – and it’s also the biggest! This stuff does not even qualify as sentimental clutter – it’s just straight deadwood in your home. It will shock you to discover how many things you kept without any intention behind the decision. 

Let’s take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? Kids were small. Work was hectic. Schedules were crazy busy. On the river of life you were paddling through the rapids and just trying to make it through without getting thrown from your raft.

In that context, here are some things that may or may not have happened. You moved and threw a bunch of ‘miscellaneous’ stuff in the box that is still sitting unopened in a closet. Something your family outgrew got buried behind some other things and you forgot you ever had it. The ‘storage’ closet became a dumping ground for anything that didn’t have a home.

It wasn’t an intentional decision to keep any of this stuff. You were busy and life simply happened. Now, as you enter the lazy river portion of your life journey, it’s time to circle back and make the decisions you didn’t have a chance to before. And what you’ll find is that the decisions are incredibly easy. 

This is an incredibly freeing feeling because you discover that much of your clutter has no deeper meaning to uncover – wahoo! That’s great news for your sweet, sentimental heart!

Now You Can Get To Work

The next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m just too sentimental to declutter,” I want you to test that assumption by actually starting the process.

You’ll likely learn that much of what you’re calling sentimental is actually just deadwood you can slough off. And when you do that you make more room to appreciate the treasures you genuinelycare about.

I wear the label ‘sentimental’ with pride, but I also honor it by appreciating the things that truly bring me joy. I wish the same for you!

The post The Truth About Sentimental Clutter appeared first on Method Seattle.

One common reason it’s hard to make progress decluttering in midlife is that it’s very easy to get derailed by decluttering detours. I’ve experienced this myself countless times but it’s also a big reason why folks call me for help. 

You begin with the best intentions, but before long you’re reminiscing over old photos, researching where to donate furniture, finishing a half-completed project or reorganizing a drawer that wasn’t even on your list. None of those things are bad. They’re just not actually decluttering, and before you know it you’ve strayed far from your original objective and barely made a dent in your clutter problem.

Here’s what’s actually happening. Every time you switch tasks, you lose decision momentum—and that’s what makes it so hard to make meaningful progress. Once you learn to recognize the common derailments that plague most of us in midlife, you’ll be able to avoid going down those rabbit holes and stay in decision mode. Let’s look at the biggest three and how to stay on course when they happen (because they will absolutely happen!)

1.Emotional Detours: When Memories Take Over

When you are decluttering in midlife there are so many memories that can totally trip you up! An old letter from your grandmother requires closer inspection. Your kids’ medical records invite a quick peek. An old photo album beckons. Our sentimental items don’t just require decisions, they invite experiences. Before you know it, you’re no longer deciding what stays. You’re reliving the past. Which sometimes, frankly – can be kind of fun! But remember, you are here to make decisions – not toddle off down memory lane!

Of the 3 decluttering detours, this one is easy to recognize because most everyone has experienced what I just described. It’s likely that you haven’t visited these things in quite some time and so it can be really tempting to jump in feet-first to memory-fest 2026. But before you jump, consider the following advice.

Before you dive into a specific item, do a quick scan of everything to take care of the easy decisions first. Birthday cards without a meaningful inscription. Uninspiring art projects. Anything that evokes a bad memory. That stuff should be easy to edit, so get it out of the way first.

When you stumble across something meaningful, give yourself 30 seconds to acknowledge it, then do one of two things. Sometimes 30 seconds is enough to appreciate reliving a memory, but you probably don’t need to do it again. That would mean it’s okay to edit. Or, if you are tempted to go deeper – set the item aside as a ‘keep.’ Then plan for some time to go deeper with your memories – just not today when you’re trying to declutter!

Remind yourself: today’s goal isn’t to revisit your memories—it’s to decide which ones stay and which ones go.

2. Productivity Detours: Things That Feel Productive (But Aren’t Decluttering)

This decluttering detour is sneaky because it feels productive but is actually a form of procrastination. How many times have you been decluttering and come across an unfinished project? Maybe it’s a sweater you started knitting 4 years ago. Or it could be something broken you meant to fix. Or my favorite – something you forgot you had because it’s been so long since you’ve seen it – of course you want to re-engage!

Don’t look now, but you’ve shifted from decluttering to project management. Whoops. Like the memorabilia, these items tend to spark excitement and motivation that must be seized! Before you realize what is happening, you’ve completely abandoned your decluttering project for a new project that has temporarily taken over the next several hours.

Stop! This decluttering project is the one that should take priority today. It’s great to get excited about something new (old, but new 😂) but save it as a reward for when you finish with the decluttering! In fact, before you even begin the session, make a pact with yourself that you will not take on any new projects until you are finished decluttering. 

Productive procrastination is such a sneaky bugger because it feels like you are doing good work, therefore you are not off track. Except you are off track! Protect your decision-mode – set aside the future projects (if they are worth finishing) for another day. Decluttering is the project that matters today.

3. Research Detours: Solving Tomorrow’s Problems Today

This last decluttering detour is the most common – and it doesn’t feel like a detour because it’s related to the things you’ve decided need to go. For that reason, it isn’t as easy to recognize in the moment. See if this sounds familiar.

You’ve already decided the old bed frame is leaving. Decision made! But instead of continuing to declutter, you spend the next 45 minutes thinking of someone you know who may need it, comparing donation centers, and checking Marketplace prices. Those logistics matter – but not right now. Because right now you are committed to staying in decision mode.

One of the many tactics I recommend in my upcoming book – ‘The Midlife Edit’ is to do donation (and any other research-related activity) before you begin your decluttering session. Because you need your mental energy for the Level 1 decisions – that is, what stays and what goes. What happens after you’ve decided something is leaving is a Level 2 decision, and you can save those for a different day.

One helpful way to keep track of the Level 2 decisions without allowing them to derail you is to keep a list on your phone as you go. It could look something like this:

• Call Habitat for Humanity.
• Ask daughter about wedding china.
• List bike on Marketplace.

Capture all those Level 2 decisions and activities while you keep moving on the Level 1 decluttering decisions.

Remember: making the decision and executing the decision are two different jobs. Today your job is to stay at Level 1!

Decision Mode For The Win

Decluttering isn’t always a test of willpower. It’s a practice of protecting your (precious!) focus. And decluttering detours are always knocking at the door!

The people who make the fastest progress aren’t necessarily more motivated than you are. They’ve simply learned to notice when they’re drifting off course – and can gently steer themselves back to the only question that matters:

“Does this item stay, or does it go?”

Because every answer to that question is one step closer to a clutter-free home.

The post The 3 Biggest Decluttering Detours (and How to Avoid Them) appeared first on Method Seattle.

Just in case. Those three little words have probably earned more space in our homes than any other decluttering excuse. I think I’ve heard every iteration of this rationalization:

“I don’t know what that cord goes to but I’m saving it in case I need it.”

“We haven’t been camping in 15 years but we may change our minds so it’s staying, just in case”

“I don’t know what this key unlocks but I’m keeping it just in case I remember”

“I saved all their art, report cards and schoolwork in case my kids want it someday.”

Each example feels perfectly reasonable in the moment, so you tuck the thing away and forget about it. Now, however, all of those isolated decisions have piled up. It took two or three decades for you to notice, but quietly they have become a major contributor to the clutter you now find yourself drowning in.

When you’re working on so many years of accumulated clutter, it’s easy for ‘just in case’ to derail your decluttering efforts. So let’s break down what’s really happening when you rationalize, how to shift your mindset when it happens and why you should trust your better judgement in the future.

Just in Case is really about fear

When we invoke ‘just in case’, we tell ourselves we’re being prepared when what’s usually driving the decision is fear. You’re afraid you’ll regret the decision in the future. Or that you’ll truly need whatever it is someday and be stuck in the lurch. It feels easier to just keep it ‘for now’.

Another thing that’s going on is avoidance. You tell yourself you’re keeping it in case you need it, but actually you are avoiding the inconvenience of getting rid of it. Double the avoidance if pain-in-the-butt logistics are in play or if you spent a lot of money on the thing once-upon-a-time.

In fact, ‘just in case’ ends up being a kind of catch-all for avoiding discomfort. That discomfort could take the shape of an unknown future, perceived hard work or spending guilt. When you can identify what’s happening with your thoughts as you are decluttering, it becomes a lot easier to push through the discomfort and do the right thing – which is usually to let go of the things you don’t use!

A Mindset Shift

How to push through a ‘just in case’ mindset? Instead of jumping right into ‘What if I need this someday?’, slow down and ask yourself a few clarifying questions:

• How likely is that, really?
• If I did need it, could I borrow, rent, or replace it?
• Is the tiny chance I’ll need it worth storing it for years?
• What am I giving up by keeping it?

I don’t even know you or what you’ve saved ‘just in case’ but based on my own experience and my work with clients I can answer those questions for you.

• The likelihood you’ll need it is low
• You could probably borrow it if you needed one later
• Your space (storage or otherwise) has a higher value than you are currently placing on it
• You are sacrificing lightness of being and comfort of home by keeping all this stuff out of fear

Y’all, our goal here isn’t to eliminate risk. It’s to stop letting unlikely scenarios dictate how you live every day. If you really want to be prepared for a future event that probably won’t happen but could – get yourself a disaster kit. That should satisfy the need to be prepared (for an earthquake, hurricane, fire, zombie apocalypse, etc.) without taking up three quarters of your garage!

And another thing – you aren’t giving your life experience enough credit in this scenario.

Trust Your Wisdom

You should have some distance from any ‘just in case’ decisions you made in your 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. Those items should be relatively easy to declutter. After all, a lot of time has passed and you didn’t actually need or use it – right? 

It will be harder with the things you’ve acquired more recently but don’t actually use (‘but what if…!’) or the items associated with some future-leaning possibility (such as the things you’ve saved for your kids.)

For these you’ll need to draw on both the mindset shifts and your secret weapon – the wisdom you’ve gained in your 50+ years on this earth! That’s right – you have a track record to refer to. You’ve seen how previous decisions to keep things played out! You have lots of resources to tap into if need arises! You know yourself and how likely you are to come back to that long-lost hobby, turn the kids’ tees you saved into a quilt, or jog the memory that’s getting foggier with each passing year. And most of all, you have the wisdom to place a high value on how good your home feels without the clutter that was taking up space for so long.

Based on all of your life-experience, you should have confidence in your ability to make thoughtful decisions instead of avoiding discomfort by defaulting to the lowest common denominator. You can solve problems when they arise instead of surrounding yourself with an armory of ‘just in case’ clutter.

Just in Case You’re Still on the Fence

If you looked honestly at everything you’ve saved “just in case,” how much of your home would it account for?

A closet? A wall in your garage? An entire spare room? Or more?

For many of us in midlife, ‘just in case’ is a pattern that’s been quietly shaping our homes for decades. The next time you are decluttering and those three words cross your mind, please pause.

Because now you know better!

The post The “Just in Case” Trap That Filled Your Home with Clutter appeared first on Method Seattle.

On this blog I have a lot to say about decluttering strategies. I tell you to keep the efforts small and consistent. I recommend always keeping a donation box handy and running it to the donation drop when it fills up. I espouse getting rid of something old when you get something new. All of that is sound advice. But it doesn’t address a category that is one of the hardest to declutter. That’s the big stuff!

I don’t mean the heavy emotional stuff (although that’s hard too!)  Some of the most stubborn clutter in midlife is the stuff that doesn’t fit in the donation box. Because it’s too big! Often the reason it stays around so long is not because you can’t make the decision to let go – it’s the logistical challenge of removing it from your house.

It’s the treadmill collecting dust in the garage. The dining room set nobody uses. The road bike from your triathlon years. The spare refrigerator sitting empty because the kids you used to fill it up for have all moved out. The piano. The giant desk. The furniture your children left behind when they moved out. You know it needs to go – but making it happen always seems to fall to the bottom of your list.

The Bigger The Item, The Bigger The Mental Hurdle

When you have decades of clutter to deal with, removing the biggest items from your home can really move the needle. But large items create friction you don’t usually have time for. You can’t just toss them in a donation box and move on with your day. Instead you must figure out:

• How to move it
• Who will take it
• Whether it’s worth selling
• Whether you’ll need help
• How much time it’s going to take

The logistics can be overwhelming. You may think you are emotionally attached to whatever it is, but actually your brain is just trying to avoid the hassle!

Stop Looking For The Perfect Exit Strategy

You will spend months (years? decades?) with these things hanging around while you wait for the magic fairy to take the hassle away. For that hardest to declutter item, your fairly will surely deliver:

• The highest sale price
• The perfect recipient
• The easiest pickup arrangement
• The guarantee that nothing goes to waste

Except sadly, there is no fairy. And instead of thinking about selling it, or waiting for the perfect new home to present itself – ask yourself this question:

“What is the fastest reasonable way to get this out of my house?”

You are going to have to stop trying to maximize value (or minimize cost and/or effort) and shift your focus to creating momentum. When you do that, it’s amazing how much easier the decisions (and the hassles!) become.

The Best Ways To Get Rid Of The Big Stuff

Now that you’ve shifted your focus – here’s the best little hack to help you get rid of the stuff that’s hardest to declutter.  Here it is:

Do some research and come up with a plan.

That’s it. I know it sounds like ‘duh, how is that a hack?’ but it is and here’s why. When you separate the planning from the doing the whole thing becomes less intimidating to your brain. Sitting on your couch for 20 minutes with a laptop checking out your options? Easy Peasy. The hardest part was letting go of the maximizing, which you already did! And once you have a plan – all you need to do is follow the steps – again, easy!

If you are rolling your eyes right now, stop. I’ve done some legwork for you. Below is a list of paths for your large piece(s) of clutter to vacate the premises.

Sell It
Caveat: Price it LOW. You are never going to get what you think you should get for this thing. Facebook Marketplace is often the quickest option for furniture, exercise equipment, tools, and outdoor items. There are other marketplace platforms as well, such as Craig’s List  or Offer Up, but in my experience Facebook Marketplace moves inventory fast. Caveat #2: It does take effort to take photos, post description & measurements, deal with potential buyers, etc. Are you up for that? If not, keep moving down this list.

Buy Nothing

If you are willing to ditch the money – Buy Nothing is the best option to get rid of your item quickly and locally. Think of it as getting somebody to take it away for free. I use Buy Nothing all the time and it’s awesome! (Obviously easier if you’re located in a more densely populated area like a city or a suburb – I have less experience with Buy Nothing in rural settings.)

Donate It
Many charities offer pickup services for furniture and household goods. This one will require some research as the options/availability will vary by location. Habitat for Humanity ReStore is one example worth checking out if you have one in your area.

Ask for Help
A friend with a truck. An adult child. A neighbor. Someone you hired on TaskRabbit. Don’t let pride turn a solvable problem into a permanent one. You get by with a little help from your friends (sometimes you have to hire them but that still counts!) In my experience friends with trucks love to be helpful and now you can get Aust Susie’s bedroom set over to the college grad who needs free furniture.

Hire Removal
Many of you won’t like this but it’s one of my favorites when I have a good amount of stuff that has to go and I just don’t want to deal with it. Perfect for broken things and the random junk that has piled up on the side yard because it’s too big for your garbage bins. In my opinion, paying a junk removal company is worth every penny. You’re not just paying to remove the item(s). You’re buying back space, energy, and peace of mind. I am not exaggerating when I tell you it feels SO GOOD when you watch that truck drive away!

Individual situations will vary, but remember this: the best solution is the one that actually gets the stuff  out of your house.

Recap

The big stuff is sneakily the hardest to declutter because of the logistics.

Unless you want it sitting around forever, shift your focus from maximizing value to creating momentum for moving it out.

Spending 20 minutes to research and come up with a removal plan will create that momentum. Separate the planning from the doing – they are 2 separate things!

There are many choices for next steps – remember you don’t need a perfect plan. You just need the clutter out of your house!

The post Why the Biggest Items Are Often the Hardest to Declutter appeared first on Method Seattle.

Last month our youngest child graduated from college – wahoo! After the excitement (and drama, she got mono a week before the ceremony) had ebbed, I felt as if I had crossed an invisible threshold of midlife. After almost 30 years of our children dominating our time, mental energy and our home, a new era was beginning.

Yes, all 3 of my kids left the nest to attend college so technically they had been gone awhile. But going away to college still feels like the kids have one foot in and one foot out. Sometimes they are home for summers. They certainly don’t have a permanent living situation going. And they all descend on the house during the holidays – making it feel like it used to, if only for a week. So even though our nest was technically empty when they were in school – it didn’t really feel that way.

But now that the youngest had passed this milestone, something shifted. The kids really felt gone (full disclosure, one is still at home but only for 6 more months!) This summer a rotating cast of houseguests was on the docket. And I had an antsy feeling as I looked around. It was time for a home tour of our newly empty nest.  I made my way from room to room, closet to closet, noticing so many things I was keeping around for no reason. It was eye-opening! I quickly stopped on the thought that this easy exercise would be a good one for all empty-nesters to do.

Do me a favor and take 10 minutes to do your own ‘noticing’ home tour. That’s why it only takes 10 minutes, because it’s merely exploratory. I’m going to give you 3 slightly different ‘noticing’ lenses to look through. The results of your tour may surprise you – they definitely surprised me!

1. Look For What No Longer Fits You

As you begin your home tour the first lens I want you to wear with your empty nest glasses on is the one where you notice anything that no longer fits you. And I don’t mean clothes (although they count too!)

I’m talking about things you’ve never really liked but kept around for one reason or another. Furniture you don’t care for that has been ‘in the family’ for generations. Supplies for hobbies you haven’t engaged in for years. Anything that fit better with an earlier version of yourself.

I’m guessing your list will include gifts you didn’t like but kept around, expensive purchases that didn’t work out and many things you forgot you even had. This stuff has been around so long that it literally faded into the backdrop of your home and it’s been years since you really looked at it.

Remember, you aren’t actually taking action to declutter anything yet. This is an exercise to reveal the clutter hiding in plain sight that doesn’t reflect the life you are living today. The goal isn’t to get rid of anything; it’s simply to notice what no longer fits in.

2. Notice What Your Kids Left behind

Empty nests don’t happen all at once. It takes awhile and often the fledglings return to the roost for another round. But they do eventually leave for good. And when they do, somehow their stuff remains. This is the next lens for your home tour – what the kids left behind.

The things you encounter on this part of the tour fall into 3 different categories:

• The things you are purposely storing for them – you know they want this stuff and don’t have room
• The things you saved for them over the years – things of the sentimental variety
• The things you have no idea if they want

My guess is that the first category is the smallest and the last one is the largest. Most people I work with haven’t actually asked their kids what they want, they just reflexively save everything.

Again, we aren’t diving in to take action on anything right now – only noticing the assumptions we’ve made about all our kids’ stuff still hanging around. Many parents are surprised by how much space is being occupied by belongings that their kids don’t really want

At this point you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed by how much clutter has been revealed by this exercise – but you aren’t done yet. The last lens is the most fun of this tour!

3. Imagine Your Next Chapter

I’m calling this part of the home tour the ‘what if’ lens. It’s the lens where you let your imagination take over and envision what you’d like to see in the empty-nest era of your home.

Instead of noticing things that should probably go, you’re asking yourself ‘what if’ the clutter was gone?

If the clutter was gone…

• How would I use this room today?
• What would make my daily life easier?
• What have I always wished this space could be?
• What would I like to make room for?

Maybe it’s a reading nook. Could be a guest room. The possibilities are endless: a studio, a workout space, a home office. Or my favorite of all – more open space. In my opinion, open space is one of the most under-rated attributes of modern homes.

Wherever your imagination takes you, I hope you realize your home doesn’t have to remain frozen in a time that passed a while ago.

A Big First Step

One of the reasons people find decluttering overwhelming is that they think they have to do everything at once. Not true, my friends. We take things in small steps around here – and this home tour is the perfect example.

You should have 2 big takeaways from this little exercise. First, an awareness of how much stuff is currently taking up space in your home that doesn’t fit your current lifestyle or mean much to the kids who left it behind. Second, a dawning vision of what your home could look like if you were to let go of the clutter.

Midlife is full of transitions. Some are chosen and some are not. But if you’ve recently crossed into a new season of life, this might be the perfect time to ask whether your home reflects who you are today—or who you used to be.

Because after spending decades creating a home for everyone else, it’s okay to start creating one for yourself. Congrats to all the grads out there flying the coop!

The post The 10-Minute Home Tour Every Empty Nester Should Take appeared first on Method Seattle.