Midlife Is Hard Enough. Don’t Let Clutter Make It Harder

Midlife is already asking a lot from us.

The kids are leaving. Our hormones are in flux. Eight hours of sleep is more of a Holy Grail than a regular occurrence. Some of us are caring for aging parents, some of whom are happy about it. And we are all carrying decades of responsibilities, decisions, and mental load. It’s a lot!

Midlife is hard enough, the last thing you need is your home adding to the burden.

Research suggests women who perceive their homes as cluttered and stressful experience higher stress and less healthy cortisol patterns than women who view their homes as restorative. Men do not appear to be affected in the same way (figures!) 

In the grand landscape of challenges we are facing during this season of life, our home environment plays a significant role. It either adds to the burden or serves as a haven. But unlike some of the other things we are facing, our clutter is directly under our control. That means we can do something about it!

We Are Already Managing a Full Mental Load

Midlife is hard, yes. A cluttered home contributes to that, yes. But you maybe haven’t noticed it as a problem because clutter itself is not the problem in isolation.

It’s more like the straw on top of an already overloaded system.

When you are dealing with the emotional demands of newly launched kiddos, planning for retirement, helping aging parents and navigating changes in your body – you’re pretty much at max capacity. So that means things like a pile on the counter, an overstuffed closet or a looming stack of boxes in the garage can tip your brain over the edge.

That’s because every time you visually encounter a pile of stuff, your brain sees:

• a decision
• a task
• an unfinished project
• something you need to remember

The issue isn’t that one pile. It’s that the pile is one more thing on top of everything else you’re dealing with. Bottom line, your brain doesn’t experience clutter separately from everything else. It’s just adding to the load that’s already there.

Why Clutter Feels Harder Now Than It Did Before

You might be wondering, “Why didn’t this bother me when my kids were younger?” After all, that was a very hectic season of life in itself. I don’t know about you, but tired was my baseline and I got very adept at spinning multiple plates in the air with only an occasional crash and burn!

During that time, accumulation was the norm. Because let’s face it, there is a lot of stuff involved in raising a family. And that stuff all had a clear purpose. Sports equipment, school papers, toys – it was all needed and used. And frankly, you were too busy to notice how much was piling up. It wasn’t that there wasn’t stress, and there definitely was clutter – but you were too busy to notice it.

The reason midlife is hard is because even though it isn’t as hectic, it’s weightier. You have more time to  notice your environment and it doesn’t feel relaxing.

Plus, you’re in the middle of an identity edit. The kids are gone, so there’s less people and less activity. But the house is still full of stuff. And because so much of it isn’t relevant to your life today, maintaining decades of accumulated possessions suddenly feels exhausting rather than meaningful.

Trimming off the extra via decluttering takes away some of the cognitive load you’re carrying right now. And that leaves you with more energy to deal with everything else. Your home can become your refuge and a restorative place to recharge.

Decluttering Is One Midlife Stressor You Can Reduce

Midlife is hard because it’s filled with transitions that oftentimes feel out of our control. Menopause is inevitable. Aging is real. Losing parents is going to happen. Kids are doing their own thing and don’t want us butting in. Plus, forgive me for saying it – but the outside world is also a bit of a dumpster-fire right now. All of it can make you feel powerless.

I can’t help you with most of the other stuff (though I’ve reigned in my menopause symptoms, thanks to info from doctors like Dr. Mary-Claire Haver – check her out if you haven’t already!) You can’t declutter any of it.

But you can declutter your garage, the paperwork piles, the clothes in your closet that don’t fit, the guest room that’s basically a storage dump. All of that is in your control – and one intangible benefit of decluttering is how empowering it is.

Every item you declutter removes a future decision, a visual distraction, a storage obligation and a tiny slice of cognitive load. You don’t need to overhaul everything, but each little bit adds up.

So begin with the surface clutter and move on from there. Suddenly all the other weighty things in your life will feel a little less burdensome. And you’ll have a place to chill out and relax when the weight feels too heavy.

Reclaim Your Home

Please know I’m not suggesting that decluttering will fix your hormones, eliminate stress, or solve every problem you’re facing. But midlife is hard enough, and if your body and mind are already working to navigate this season of life, why not remove one burden that’s completely within your control?

Think about it, and maybe set a timer for 10 minutes and attack your junk drawer!