Navigating Midlife Transitions Using the Power of Decluttering

One of the reasons midlife is such a great time to declutter is the number of transitions that happen around this time in our lives. In fact, you can strategically use decluttering to approach the transition proactively. That puts you in the driver’s seat both logistically and mentally. 

Midlife transitions usually come with heavy emotions that can be tough to navigate. When you leverage the opportunity to declutter you take back some control of a situation that can feel destabilizing. That sense of control helps you to find the positives of the transition that might otherwise be elusive and focus on them. Let’s take a look at three common midlife transitions that represent the perfect chance to use decluttering as a way through the chaos.

Transition #1: The Empty Nest

The emptying of the nest tends to be the most gradual of midlife transitions. First the kids leave the nest temporarily to attend college, boomeranging back home on breaks. Then as they finish school, some may come back home to live for a stretch. And finally, the last kid moves out and your home is yours again!

So many parents find this transition so emotionally difficult. For two-plus decades our lifestyle revolved around our kids. We still love them to pieces and miss having them around. Keeping their stuff around helps us feel connected to both the young and adult versions of them. This is fine for a while but eventually it becomes a weight that keeps us anchored in the past.

If you make the decision to declutter your empty nest, you’ll experience the happy confluence of a nostalgic romp down memory lane and a view towards an exciting new future. As you curate a collection of memories to save for your kids, you can experience their childhood again. And as you let go of the stuff that isn’t important, you create space to make your home your own again.

Maybe that space is a studio or a home gym. Maybe it’s a gear room for your outdoor adventures or a dedicated office for your work-from-home life. Or maybe you want to leverage your home as an asset on Home Exchange or Trusted Housesitters so extra guest rooms are in order. The point is, your home can play a pivotal role in defining the next phase of your life. So decluttering your empty nest can be both cathartic and illuminating!

Transition #2: Moving

I work with so many clients who are planning a move in midlife. These moves come in all shapes and sizes. Some are preparing for a midlife upgrade to a dream home they’ve been working to afford. Some are downsizing and prioritizing their resources to afford travel or a vacation home. And many are simply relocating to be closer to family and friends.

Whatever the driver, moving is the king of midlife transitions because it reveals just how much stuff we’ve accumulated over the years. Even people who swear they have no clutter are utterly humbled when they begin the packing process and realize how much crap they are paying someone to move for them. It is overwhelming and often paralyzing – that’s when they call me! But here’s the rub: while decluttering all that stuff may feel overwhelming by it’s sheer volume, it is actually creating less work and less waste (time, monetary, energy, etc.) in the overall process. Why? Because you aren’t spending time, money and physical/mental energy moving a bunch of stuff you don’t need and won’t use in your new home. Truth, it will feel like more work initially! But you will coast down the back half of the move like a boss.

Plus, the process itself helps you to clarify what is important to you as you enter this new home and new chapter. As you cast off the old, you make room for the new. Sloughing off all the camping gear you haven’t used in years means you can park 2 cars in your new garage! Casting away all the neglected one-off appliances means your new kitchen counters can be clear and calming. Letting go of all your mismatched bedlinens makes it so easy to set up a beautiful linen closet that is a pleasure to open. You can curate the life you want to live in your new space, plus leave some space for the upgrades you deserve!

Transition #3: Divorce

This midlife transition is no fun for anyone. No matter the circumstances, getting divorced in midlife means dividing up a shared history amidst an avalanche of feelings. It is the most destabilizing of the transitions we are visiting here. There are 3 positives decluttering brings to someone going through a divorce.

First you are taking back control of something at a time when you may be feeling untethered and adrift. Taking control over physical stuff breeds empowerment, which leads to stabilization. Next positive; you often have an extra boost of motivation during a divorce due to the presence of negative energy. Using that negative energy towards a positive outcome is productive. And the truth is you are going to have to go through all of your shared stuff at some point anyway. Doing it now, while you have the motivation is a good way to work through your emotions.

Lastly, decluttering represents an opportunity to divest from anything that carries negative association. What do you want to surround yourself with when you start fresh? What are the things you own that bring you joy, and which ones bring you down? Ridding yourself of the negative associations through decluttering will help accelerate the healing process.

Transitions are essentially clearing away the old to make room for the new. Decluttering is a way to set yourself up for success at the start of something new. Bringing with you what is important from the past with room to grow in a new direction for the future is how you’ll win at these midlife transitions!