How to Stop Unhelpful Thoughts From Derailing Your Decluttering

Your brain has opinions about everything you declutter, and those unhelpful thoughts can really get in your way. Do any of these sound familiar?

‘What if I need it someday?’

‘I paid so much for this.’

‘My mom gave it to me.’

‘I’ll get to it eventually.’

‘I only want it to go to someone who will appreciate it’

This unwanted running commentary can really put a crimp in your efforts to rid yourself of the stuff you don’t use. But it doesn’t have to!

Here’s the thing: these thoughts are completely normal. Most of us have them. They are extremely human. The problem isn’t having the thoughts per se. Rather, it’s treating every thought as though it deserves the final say in what you actually do. 

Below are three strategies you can use to build up your decluttering muscle. When you are able to notice the thoughts going through your head without reflexively obeying them, decluttering won’t feel as hard as it does now.

1. A Thought Is Not a Fact

Not every thought deserves your attention, but we sure treat them like they do! Thoughts are brain activity, not facts. Think of them as visitors passing through (like passing clouds!) instead of directives you must follow. They can feel really convincing, especially when they are tied to money, guilt, memories, obligation or fear.

Let’s separate the thoughts from facts using our earlier examples:

Unhelpful Thought: “What if I need it someday?”

Check the Fact: “I haven’t needed it in 12 years.”

Unhelpful Thought: “I paid SO much for it – I’m wasting money.”

Check the Fact: “The money is already gone whether I keep it or not.”

Unhelpful Thought: “My mom gave it to me.”

Check the Fact: “Letting this go does not mean I don’t love my mom.”

Unhelpful Thought: “I’ll get to it eventually”

Check the Fact: “I haven’t followed through yet, and chances are I won’t ever.”

Unhelpful Thought: “I only want it to go to someone who will appreciate it.”

Check the Fact: “I can’t control the outcome of every item I donate.”

Please don’t imagine you’ll need to argue with yourself over every item you declutter. You don’t need to stage a debate every time, you merely need to recognize the thought as it’s passing through. “There’s that thought again. Now, what do I actually know to be true?”

2. Stop Letting Temporary Discomfort Make Permanent Decisions

Remember how it’s helpful to think of your unhelpful thoughts as visitors passing through? Well, the nice thing about these visitors is that their stay is short. In other words, the discomfort they cause is temporary. When you know this, it’s easier to resist when they try to take over the decision-making process.

It’s true that holding on to something because of unhelpful feelings like guilt or fear does provide some immediate relief. You don’t have to feel guilty about Mom, admit the expensive purchase was a mistake, worry about needing something later, or accept that you’re probably never going to finish that project.

But if you follow through with the decision to declutter despite the unhelpful thoughts, you’ll find that they see themselves out before long. And the more you practice letting them pass through, the easier the process becomes. You don’t become comfortable letting go before you practice letting go. It happens because you’ve repeatedly experienced the uncomfortable thought, made the decision anyway, and discovered that you were okay afterward. This is what building decluttering muscle looks like!

3. Give Your Goals a Louder Voice Than Your Unhelpful Thoughts

Here’s another thing about your unhelpful thoughts, they are only powerful in the silo of a single decision. In other words, when you put the decision to declutter something hard into the bigger context of your goals, the unhelpful thoughts lose a lot of their power.

When you are struggling to make a decluttering decision, try zooming out and laying it up against what you are trying to accomplish overall.

Ask purposeful questions like these:

“Which matters more to me: avoiding this temporary discomfort or making meaningful progress?”

“Does keeping this help me create the home I want for my life now?”

“Is this important enough to take up space in my next chapter?”

Purpose is a powerful thing. If you are clear on your purpose, you can use it to flex your decluttering muscle when you hit a rough spot. Before you know it, staying in service of your larger decluttering goal becomes the louder voice in your head (and this one is a helpful voice!), enabling you to push through again and again.

Reminder: You Don’t Have to Believe Everything You Think

Friends, successful decluttering doesn’t mean reaching some magical point where you never think ‘What if I need it?’ ever again. The skill is learning to hear the thought and keep going.

Remember that your thoughts are not facts.

Remember that the discomfort is temporary.

Remember that your goals are a powerful antidote to the unhelpful thoughts.

Yes, your brain has opinions – as it should! But you don’t need to let those opinions drive your decluttering decisions!