The Truth About Sentimental Clutter

One of the first things people tell me is, “I can’t declutter, I’m just too sentimental.” I get it. We all have things that genuinely mean something to us. And when you’re in midlife it can feel like you are attached to everything – to all of it. So many stages of your life are represented in your home. How could you possibly part with things that mean so much to you?

Well, I have to tell you – after working with hundreds of clients, I’ve noticed something surprising. Most people dramatically overestimate how much of their clutter is actually sentimental. If we emptied your house onto the lawn and looked honestly at each item, I suspect only a small percentage would truly hold deep emotional meaning for you. 

Sentimental clutter is only a small piece of your bigger clutter problem. The majority of the stuff ended up in your home for much less romantic reasons. When you take a look at the three biggest ones your huge decluttering project will feel a lot less scary. Let’s jump in.

1. It Seemed Important at the Time

Let’s begin with the sentimental clutter that you actually kept for sentimental reasons…at one time. Let’s face it – we can’t always predict the future and if you are someone who is sentimentally-inclined, you probably saved a lot of stuff you don’t actually care about now.

Here are some examples: Your kids’ schoolwork, greeting cards, souvenirs, clothing you’ll never wear again. Everybody’s list will be a little different – but if you’ve saved things for decades that list is probably pretty long. You have been operating under the assumption that because you intentionally saved it at one time, you still feel the same way about it today. What you’ll realize when you actually come across this stuff again is that it doesn’t pull on your heartstrings the way it once did.

I’ll give you an example from my house (because, yes – I am a sentimental soul myself!) I intentionally saved most of my high school and college papers. I was an English major and got great grades on my papers, which is why I think I saved them. They came with me into my marriage, I moved them multiple times and I never reread them once. I just gave them sentimental value by default – even though it was clear I didn’t care enough to actually read them. When decluttering a few years ago I pulled them out and was honest with myself – I didn’t need to continue keeping them. And guess what? It didn’t hurt to let them go!

Let’s be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel attached to your college papers (or any of the other things I listed.) However, I am challenging you to ask yourself whether you still are. In some cases the answer may be yes, but in a lot of instances you’ll find that things don’t often hold the same value in your heart once so much time has passed.

2. You Kept It for Someone Else

Okay, now for the sentimental clutter that isn’t really about you, per se. This one is sneaky because it feels like you kept it for sentimental reasons but it was actually someone else’s feelings that dictated the choice.

Examples in this category: Things that mattered to your parents that they gave you. Gifts you received over the years that you didn’t care for that came from someone you love. Family ‘heirlooms’ gathering dust in your garage. Lovingly handmade things you don’t use.

In these cases, let’s be honest – you are not sentimentally attached to the item. You are sentimentally attached to the person associated with the item. You’re not keeping these things because they improve your life or bring you joy. But letting go of them seems mean or cold.

Here’s where I’ll encourage you to separate the object from the person – they are two separate and distinct things. You are not honoring anyone by continuing to store a bunch of stuff you don’t like. Keeping these things buried in your basement is not a testament to your love. Let the stuff go – you can appreciate the person without keeping everything that was/is important to them.

And no, you don’t have to tell them.

3. You Didn’t Intentionally Save It…You Just Never Got Rid of It

This one is my favorite of the three – and it’s also the biggest! This stuff does not even qualify as sentimental clutter – it’s just straight deadwood in your home. It will shock you to discover how many things you kept without any intention behind the decision. 

Let’s take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? Kids were small. Work was hectic. Schedules were crazy busy. On the river of life you were paddling through the rapids and just trying to make it through without getting thrown from your raft.

In that context, here are some things that may or may not have happened. You moved and threw a bunch of ‘miscellaneous’ stuff in the box that is still sitting unopened in a closet. Something your family outgrew got buried behind some other things and you forgot you ever had it. The ‘storage’ closet became a dumping ground for anything that didn’t have a home.

It wasn’t an intentional decision to keep any of this stuff. You were busy and life simply happened. Now, as you enter the lazy river portion of your life journey, it’s time to circle back and make the decisions you didn’t have a chance to before. And what you’ll find is that the decisions are incredibly easy. 

This is an incredibly freeing feeling because you discover that much of your clutter has no deeper meaning to uncover – wahoo! That’s great news for your sweet, sentimental heart!

Now You Can Get To Work

The next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m just too sentimental to declutter,” I want you to test that assumption by actually starting the process.

You’ll likely learn that much of what you’re calling sentimental is actually just deadwood you can slough off. And when you do that you make more room to appreciate the treasures you genuinelycare about.

I wear the label ‘sentimental’ with pride, but I also honor it by appreciating the things that truly bring me joy. I wish the same for you!