Decluttering In Midlife: Your Past Is Taking Up Too Much Space

Yesterday I was doing a Tabata ride on my Peloton and the instructor said ‘There is a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield.’ I was consumed by surviving the ride (did I mention it was Tabata?) and breathless so I didn’t catch the rest of what she said and why it applied to what we were doing. But for the rest of the class I kept thinking: that’s the perfect way to approach decluttering in midlife.

By the time midlife hits, we’ve accumulated decades of physical evidence of where we’ve been: our childhoods, hobbies, parenthood, people we loved, places we’ve been, things we spent a lot of money on. None of that is inherently clutter, per se – but it does become a problem when it’s taking up room you could be using for the life you are living now.

Decluttering in midlife is not about erasing the past, it’s about right-sizing it to make room for what’s next. I never thought I’d be writing a blog about something I heard in a spinning class, but here we are. Follow me, if you like, while I tug at this thread for a bit.

You Don’t Need To Keep The Whole Story

As humans,we tend to treat belongings of the past as proof. Proof that something happened, mattered, or was part of who we were.But here’s the thing: there are so many ways to preserve a piece of the past that doesn’t require preserving all the stuff associated with it.

Do you need all 150 pictures from the day your firstborn came home from the hospital? Maybe 10 would suffice to preserve that memory. Must you keep every figurine that your grandfather collected on his military travels through Asia or would 1 be enough? Is it required that you save each and every drawing your youngest made? Or just a few, like the one she drew of your family skiing where everyone is wearing hilariously huge helmets?

Decluttering in midlife should mean pulling out the gems that preserve your story.  Then prune back the rest so it doesn’t dominate the storage space or the vibe in your home.

Your Home Has A Finite Amount of Real Estate

Yes, I know that sounds obvious! Every bit of space you devote to storing your past means it is unavailable for something else. You weren’t thinking about it in your 30’s because you didn’t have much stuff yet. In your 40’s you were way too busy to notice how much was piling up (just stick it in storage!) But now that midlife has hit, the tradeoff has become obvious because we all have 50+ years of ‘the past.’

Keeping things around seemed innocuous for years, but now those things are occupying space that could support the life you are living now. Overstuffed closet and dresser drawers? How many of those clothes even fit you? Or support the occasions you dress for today? What about your kids’ bedrooms? Could that space support a newer hobby or interest that is currently competing for space? And have you actually integrated the stuff you got from your parents or is it occupying the garage space where you used to park your cars?

Tradeoffs, all! Decluttering in midlife is an opportunity to make those tradeoffs, ensuring the space in your home comfortably reflects your current priorities and interests.

Turn Your Attention To The Windshield

When the tough decisions come up, keep your focus on the windshield. What do you need room for now? The answer to that question may be a kitchen that’s easy to cook in, an inviting landing place for guests or space in the garage to brew beer! When I look around at my friends’ homes, I see all kinds of fun ways they are repurposing space in their homes; a gear room for hiking, a cocktail bar setup, an art studio. At my house I cleared out a storage room that had turned into a dumping ground for everything from memorabilia to inherited furniture into a lovely office space for my (then) new business. 

Maybe you don’t know what you need space for yet – that’s okay too. Believe me when I tell you that easier maintenance, less visual noise and greater flexibility are good enough reasons to declutter in midlife. Clearing the clutter gives you room to explore what’s possible. And the power to bring home something new and exciting without the hassle of cramming into space you don’t have.

Smaller In The Back, Bigger In The Front

That rearview mirror is useful, you definitely want to keep it around. You’re supposed to look at it, just don’t drive while staring into it! To be honest, once I decluttered I enjoyed the things I saved so much more because they were no longer buried in boxes and bins under stuff that wasn’t important.

Now I have the space to enjoy them – and I do! You aren’t turning your back on your past by pruning it back. You’re making space for the future that’s in front of you.

We have plenty of life left to live – this isn’t a death cleaning exercise! Just a little right sizing to keep us on track to enjoy the decades we have left.

So when you’re decluttering, keep your eyes on that big ol’ windshield. The rearview mirror has a purpose and a place, but you’re moving forward – not back!